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Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

It is a highly debatable issue whether the government should spend money on medicine and education rather than on theatres and sports stadiums. In my opinion, all these things are important for the people and therefore, the government should allocate equal resources for both. Basic medical care is very important for the general public. If people are healthy, there will be more productivity of work and the country will prosper as a whole. There are many people who live below the poverty line and it is the government‘s responsibility that they should receive medical aid whenever needed. There are also the elderly who have paid taxes throughout their working life and now need good medical care. Good education facilities are also the duty of the government. Today, there are a number of children from deprived backgrounds who get substandard education. They would definitely require a high quality of education if they are to succeed in later life. What is more, an educated society has less crime and violence and the country gets good recognition in the whole world if its people are educated. On the other hand, theatres and sports stadiums are equally essential for people. Art and entertainment is also a basic human need. Theatrical shows provide entertainment and at the same time preserve our culture and tradition. Our artists earn name and fame for our country. Sports stadiums, similarly, attract millions of spectators to watch matches every year. Many more millions watch games on television, read about them in newspapers, and discuss them with their friends. Therefore, we cannot say that these are unnecessary expenditures and therefore the government should ignore them. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, medicine and education are needs that we recognize, but theatrical or sports events are also basic needs. Therefore governments should allocate resources for both these things.
It is a
highly
debatable issue whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should spend money on

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
medicine
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than on
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatres’ is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stadiums. In my opinion, all these things are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should allocate equal resources for both.

Basic medical care is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the
Consider using only “public” to avoid wordiness.
general public
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are healthy,

there will be more productivity of work and the country will prosper as a whole. There

are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
below the poverty
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
line and
it is the
The word ‘government‘s’ is not standard English. Did you mean “government’s” (curly apostrophe) or “government’s” (straight apostrophe)?
government‘s


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
responsibility
that they should receive medical aid whenever needed. There are
also
the elderly who have paid taxes throughout their working life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
medical care.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities are
also
the duty of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, there are a

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
number
of children from deprived backgrounds who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
substandard education.

They would definitely require a high quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
if they are to succeed in

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
later
life.
What is more
, an educated society has less crime and violence and the country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
recognition in the whole world if its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are educated
.

On the other hand
,
Possible spelling mistake. ‘theatres’ is British English.
theatres
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
stadiums are
equally
essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Art and entertainment is
also
a basic human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. Theatrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph.
provide


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
entertainment
and at the same time preserve our culture and tradition. Our artists earn name and fame for our country.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
stadiums,
similarly
, attract millions of spectators to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
matches every year.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
more millions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
games on television, read about them in newspapers, and discuss them with their friends.

Therefore
, we cannot say that these are unnecessary expenditures and
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, medicine and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
that we recognize,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
theatrical or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
are
also
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
Therefore


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
governments
should allocate resources for both these things.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education.

Essay
  American English
15 paragraphs
311 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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