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Some people say that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes .To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. KwWRN
Road accident is the major concerns for majority of the country. It is argued by some individuals that the effective method to deal with traffic accident is to rise age limit for driving vehicles. While I admit that this policy is beneficial to some extent, in my opinion, there are other best way to minimize road mishap. To embark on, increasing legal age for driving cars or motorbike has its own advantage. The first and foremost benefit is it reduce the traffic accident as adults are more prone to accident due to the fact that they are drive vehicles beyond the limit. Furthermore, there is a kind of competition among youngster regarding who can drive fast, as a result, they are likely to suffer form dangerous accident and sometimes lead to death. This problem can be solve if there is a strict rule for those youth who study in college or university. In addition, matured people are aware enough about the effect of accident, and they have knowledge about the traffic rules, and they believe that vehicle accident not only harm individual person but also other person. There are many countries where the rate of accident is very low because they have strict rules on driving vehicle. For instance, in Dubai and Saudi Arab those who exceeds 18 years old are eligible for driving license. However, I believe that condition of road is the major cause of road mishap. Accident are likely to occur if the road infrastructure is not good. In developing countries like Nepal the majority of accident is because of the narrow, bumpy road. Another major causative factor of traffic accidents is the condition of the vehicle, old outdated vehicles are the most significant factor of road accident, therefore, government should replace antique vehicle with new ones. Moreove, strict rule regarding drink and drive case, around 50% of the road accident is because of the drivers behavior, they consume alcohol while driving and this lead to accident. In conclusion, the increasing legal age for driving vehicles and awaking people about the traffic rule and its danger of can definitely lower the traffic mishap. Also, if the road are good enough then the accident is likely to minimize.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is the major concerns for
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
the country. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals that the effective method to deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is to rise age limit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. While I admit that this policy is beneficial to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, in my opinion, there are other best way to minimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
mishap.

To embark on, increasing legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars or motorbike has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantage. The
first
and foremost benefit is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
as adults are more prone to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
due to the fact that they are drive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
beyond the limit.
Furthermore
, there is a kind of competition among youngster regarding who can drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
as a result
, they are likely to suffer form
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
lead to death. This problem can be
Consider using the past participle "solved"?
solve
if there is a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
for
Did you mean "this youth" or "those youths"?
those youth
who study in college or university.
In addition
, matured
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are aware
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
about the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
, and they have knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, and they believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
harm individual person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other person. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries where the rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
.
For instance
, in Dubai and Saudi Arab those who exceeds 18 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
are eligible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license.

However
, I believe that condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is the major cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
mishap.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Accident
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
likely to occur if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
infrastructure is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
like Nepal the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the narrow, bumpy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
. Another major causative factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is the condition of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
outdated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
are the most significant factor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should replace antique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicle
with new ones.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Moreove
, strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
regarding drink and drive case, around 50% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "drivers'" or "driver's"?
drivers
behavior, they consume alcohol while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and this lead to accident.

In conclusion
, the increasing legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and awaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
and its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of can definitely lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
mishap.
Also
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
then the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is likely to minimize.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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