Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are different opinions about public health improvement. Although some think rising sports facilities is the best way to enhance health levels in the society, others including me believe that there are other solutions like increasing public knowledge about health issues and promoting a healthy lifestyle. Sometimes people are unaware about how serious most diseases can harm their life. Governments can increase people’s awareness by media or school programs. Documentaries about different health issues or diseases like diabetes or depression enlighten people on how devastating these issues can be. On the other hand, teaching children about their health next to more sports courses results in a healthier culture in the society. Promoting a healthy lifestyle is one of the best ways to decline the number of people with health problems. Celebrities are good models for most people so they can encourage their fans to eat healthy foods or to do sports. Individuals can follow famous people’s way of life on the social media and learn from their daily activities how to stay fit. Some suggest more sports facilities such as bicycle lanes, stadium and sports fields are essential for decreasing medical issues. They believe that more people are encouraged to do sports when there are sports fields or gyms everywhere so if someone has a free time during the day he can do sports activities. Also it is easier for them to access the stadium or swimming pool in their neighborhood. However, more sports facilities require lots of money and it is not applicable in developing countries. And also people have to pay for using them in consequence people challenging with poverty will be deprived. In conclusion, I strongly believe other approaches like increasing people’s knowledge and lifestyles is applicable worldwide, while sports facilities are only for small groups of people.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
improvement. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities is the best way to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
levels in the society, others including me believe that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
solutions like increasing public knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
and promoting a healthy lifestyle.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unaware about how serious most diseases can harm their life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
can increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
awareness by media or school programs. Documentaries about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
or diseases like diabetes or depression enlighten
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on how devastating these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
can be. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, teaching children about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
next
to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
courses results in a healthier culture in the society.

Promoting a healthy lifestyle is one of the best ways to decline the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems. Celebrities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
models for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can encourage their fans to eat healthy foods or to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Individuals can follow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
way of life on the social media and learn from their daily activities how to stay fit.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
suggest more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities such as bicycle lanes, stadium and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fields are essential for decreasing medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
. They believe that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
when there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
fields or gyms everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if someone has a free time during the day he can do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
activities.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is easier for them to access the stadium or swimming pool in their neighborhood.
However
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities require lots of
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
money and
it is not applicable in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
. And
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for using them in consequence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
challenging with poverty will
be deprived
.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
approaches like increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
knowledge and lifestyles is applicable worldwide, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts