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Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. EkjQ
Nowadays health is a major concern among the society and people are finding different ways to improve it. Many people think that increase in sports facilities can led to better health although few argue that it would have less effect as others factors also contribute to improving one's health. I believe that playing sports will improve the health though there are numerous factors that play major role as compared to sports. Increase in sports facilities will result more people getting involved which can led to better health conditions. By playing sports, physical activity is considerably increased and it also allows people to be engaged. In addition, they can be more social and do physical activity together. For example, its scientifically proven that playing sports releases oxytocin hormone which is also known as happy hormone in the body. With more sports amenities, people will use them more frequently and can improve their health. On the other hand, only playing sports and not eating healthy will not led to exponential improvement in health. Apart from physical activity, one's diet, play an important role to keep them healthy. Eating balanced food as required by the body is the key to remain fit. It is a proven fact that only doing exercise results in 20% improvement as compared when done with correct diet can led up to 50%. Therefore, I firmly believe that only increasing sports facilities cannot help in boost health. Health is an important concern for most of the people in todays world. Few people argue that growth in sports facilities can led to better heath while others believe that it would have small effect as other factors are also important. In my opinion, eating healthy plays a major role in improving health as compared to only doing physical activities.
Nowadays
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health
is a major concern among the society and
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people
are finding
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities can
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led
to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
although few argue that it would have less effect as others factors
also
contribute to improving one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
though there are numerous factors that play major role as compared to sports.

Increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities will result more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting involved which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
conditions. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is
considerably
increased and it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
be engaged
.
In addition
, they can be more social and do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
together.
For example
, its
scientifically
proven that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
releases oxytocin hormone which is
also
known as happy hormone in the body. With more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
amenities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them more
frequently
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their health.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and not eating healthy will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
led
to exponential improvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
, one's diet, play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them healthy. Eating balanced food as required by the body is the key to remain fit. It is a proven fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
doing exercise results in 20% improvement as compared when done with correct diet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
up to 50%.
Therefore
, I
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in boost health.

Health is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concern for most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that growth in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
led
to better heath while others believe that it would have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
effect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. In my opinion, eating healthy plays a major role in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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