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Some People say that the best way to improve Public health by increasing sport facility,others however say that they would have little effect on public health and other majors are required. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some People say that the best way to improve Public health by increasing sport facility, others however say that they would have little effect on public health and other majors are required. JELE
When the topic of public health is discussed, their are divided opinion. A group of people regard that the appropriate way is expanded sports facility; where is a few other claim that it is not big impact on public health and another solutions are compulsory. Prior to my decision on both the viewpoints would be discussed further. Discussing the former viewpoint, the supported explain that public health improved by increasing sports facilities. In other word expanded facility for sport individuals who are keen interested in their health and take participate in sports and make will be healthy life. Apart from that, it is an easy to maintain sport event rather than gymnasium. When society take a part in any sport event like football match and cricket which is quite easy for them to exercised by just playing any sports. In fact, if public facility are not improving by the central that would be impact on society health. On the contrary, the proponents of the later view claim that would be not only good effect on public health but others appropriate solutions are necessary. To begin with, public should be followed daily activities. In other word society can to take care of healthy diet, avoid fast food, over consumption of oil, quit smoking, sleeping not less than 7 hours a day, proper yoga, daily walk 4 to 5 kilometres and do not hard work. For example World Health Organisation suggested that only take appropriate food and daily 5 km walking is enough for make healthy society and its bast solution of healthy human life. To sum up and offer my position, I support both views, because sports is easy way to tend individuals towards their fitness rather than putting them in Gym all the times, also taking care of few other things is key to become healthy society.
When the topic of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is discussed
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are divided
opinion. A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
regard that the appropriate way
is expanded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facility; where is a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
claim that it is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and another solutions are compulsory. Prior to my decision on both the viewpoints would
be discussed
further
. Discussing the former viewpoint, the supported
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
by increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
facilities. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word expanded facility for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
individuals who are keen interested in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and take participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
life. Apart from that, it is an easy to maintain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
rather
than gymnasium. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
take a part in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like football match and cricket which is quite easy for them to exercised by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
playing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In fact, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facility are not improving by the central that would be impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
.
On the contrary
, the proponents of the later view claim that would be not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others appropriate solutions are necessary. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
should
be followed
daily activities. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
word
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet, avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food, over consumption of oil, quit smoking, sleeping not less than 7 hours a day, proper yoga, daily walk 4 to 5
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work.
For example
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Possible spelling mistake. 'Organisation' is British English.
Organisation
suggested that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take appropriate food and daily 5 km walking is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and its bast solution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
human life. To sum up and offer my position, I support both views,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a easy".
easy
way to tend individuals towards their fitness
rather
than putting them in Gym all the times,
also
taking care of few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things is key to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
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IELTS essay Some People say that the best way to improve Public health by increasing sport facility, others however say that they would have little effect on public health and other majors are required.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
307 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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