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some people say that teenagers should work part time and earn money. this way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and school activities to work

some people say that teenagers should work part time and earn money. this way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and school activities to work AApe
The teenagers are the backbone of the society as they are the future. Though some people says that they shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after school activities to work, and some say that doing part time and earn money. they will learn lessons about work. every situations have boons and bans. First of all by doing the part time jobs at the teenage they can improve in the communication, by attending the work meetings it will be easy to mingle with people. By doing the part time at that young age they will able to tackle the different people opinions. They can able to take own ideas of future studies without depending on elders. the children will be confident and withstand there own in any situation. for example, the western countries like America, United kingdom the children will allow to work at the teenage. As per some source the young entrepreneur 's are mostly form those countries. In other case, There are some children cannot able to handle the pressure at that young age due to their medical conditions, and some parents feel they should enjoy the schools hour's and do their school activities. In my opinion, The teenagers should do basic work after the school hour's, it will help in personality development, boost their confidence, and also help to develop inter and intra personality skills. It is also legal above age 14 can be given permissions to be independent. I strongly believe that doing work at young age provide the leadership skills and make motivated
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are the backbone of the society as they are the future. Though
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that they shouldn't sacrifice their rest and after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
activities to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
and earn money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
will learn lessons
Did you mean "to"?
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular. Did you mean "all"?
every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "situation"?
situations
have boons and bans.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs at the teenage they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
in the communication, by attending the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
meetings it will be easy to mingle with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
they
Did you mean "will be able"?
will able
to tackle the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opinions. They
Please check whether one of these words is redundant.
can able to
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of future studies without depending on elders.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
children will be confident and withstand there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
in any situation.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, the western countries like America,
The proper noun "United Kingdom" needs to be capitalized.
United kingdom
the children will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at the teenage.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
per
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
source the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
entrepreneur 's
are
mostly
Consider using a past participle here: "formed".
form
those countries. In other case, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children
Did you mean "cannot be able"?
cannot able
to handle the pressure at that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
due to their medical conditions, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents feel they should enjoy the
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "schools'" or "school's"?
schools
hour's and do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
activities. In my opinion, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should do basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
hour's, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in personality development, boost their confidence, and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop inter and
Possible spelling mistake found.
intra
personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. It is
also
legal above
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
14 can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
permissions to be independent. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
provide the leadership
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
motivated
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IELTS essay some people say that teenagers should work part time and earn money. this way they will learn basic lessons about work and become disciplined. others argue that teenagers shouldn't sacrifice their rest and school activities to work

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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