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In many countries, schools have severe problems with student’s behaviour a) what you think are the causes of these ? b) what solutions can you suggest ?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student’s behaviour a) what you think are the causes of these? b) what solutions can you suggest? DxNp
Character is one of the most important factor of a human to live in a society. It is noticed that, in many nations educational institutions are facing acute problems due to the pupil’s behaviour. In my opinion, there are various causes for this issue and can be decrease by using suitable effective measures. To begin with, today all parents are busy with their works, jobs, commitments and so on. So they may does not get enough time concern the matters of their little one’s which is positive or negative, likes and dislikes, and incidents which happens in their daily life(in school or in any were). Eventually, it would leads them to become alone itself. It would affect their physical and mental health. Gradually It would make a stubborn and disobedient character. This kind of students definitely make issues in school. Moreover, media also a reason of creating a bad behaviour. It is important to note that most of the children squander their valuable time on playing games, watching movies in phone, laptop or from kind of sources. For instance, a research which was done by a group of students from Manchester university in 2018 concluded that 80 %of students are expends their time on indoor activities than outdoor games such as football, basketball, and so on. It will definitely affect their physical and mental health thereby it results behavioural problems. Student’s misbehaviour is a serious issue and this requires an immediate action. Firstly, should give counselling for parents. Due to effective counselling by any experts they could find their faults and they become capable to understand what their little one’s really needs. Consequently, they may expend their moment with their children and begins to hear matters which perhaps positive or negative. Hence we can reduce the behavioural problems. Secondly, this problem can be resolved by limiting and controlling the usage of media. Accordingly it reduce the utilization of media and thereby they get enough time to study their day-to-day lessons and they begin to interact with outdoor games. This gradually increase their mental and physical strength by that, we can change the way of behaving. In conclusion, the number of crimes committed by students has inclined compared to the past. If such children are not corrected from its childhood they may become criminals in future and this can become a big threat to the society.
Character is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of a human to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society. It
is noticed
that, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations educational institutions are facing acute problems due to the pupil’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. In my opinion, there are various causes for this issue and can be decrease by using suitable effective measures.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
all parents are busy with their works, jobs, commitments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they may
The verb 'may' requires the base form of the verb: "do"
does
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
concern the matters of their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one’s which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
, likes and dislikes, and incidents which happens in their daily life(in school or in any were).
Eventually
, it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
alone itself. It would affect their physical and mental health.
Gradually
It would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a stubborn and disobedient character. This kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
issues in school.
Moreover
, media
also
a reason of creating a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to note that most of the children squander their valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on playing games, watching movies in phone, laptop or from kind of sources.
For instance
, a research which
was done
by a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from Manchester university in 2018 concluded that 80
Possible spelling mistake found.
%of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are expends their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on indoor activities than outdoor games such as football, basketball, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. It will definitely affect their physical and mental health thereby it results
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems.

Student’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'misbehaviour' is British English.
misbehaviour
is a serious issue and this requires an immediate action.
Firstly
, should give counselling for parents. Due to effective counselling by any experts they could find their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
faults and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
capable to understand what their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
one’s
really
needs.
Consequently
, they may expend their moment with their children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begins
to hear matters which perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
problems.
Secondly
, this problem can
be resolved
by limiting and controlling the usage of media.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Accordingly
it
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the utilization of media and thereby they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to study their day-to-day
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lessons and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to interact with outdoor games. This
gradually
increase their mental and physical strength by that, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the way of behaving.

In conclusion
, the number of crimes committed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
has inclined compared to the past. If such children are not corrected from its childhood they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
criminals in future and this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
threat to the society.
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IELTS essay In many countries, schools have severe problems with student’s behaviour a) what you think are the causes of these? b) what solutions can you suggest?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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