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Some people say that team sports are beneficial to players. Others say that individual sports are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people say that team sports are beneficial to players. Others say that individual sports are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion jdlrp
In many parts of the world, there has been a growing number of population who are concerned about sports. It is generally believed that people will gain more benefits when engaging in team sports. Another opinion emegers that it is better to participate in individual sports. Based on the discussion of both points of view, this essay attempts to prove that both views are reasonable. It is generally accepted that taking part in individual sports has more advantages. This is understandable due to the fact that solo sports allow people to foster their independence instead of depending on others. For example, when a player wants to win a match of tennis, he has to try his hardest as there is no one else to rely on. Another reason is that solo sports know that their success depends mostly on their effort, determination and concentration. Therefore, these people always make every possible effort to achieve their goals. From my perspective, playing team sports is beneficial for players for some reasons. The underlying reason is that playing team sports requires participants to cooperate with other teammates, which can help them to improve their teamwork skills and achieve their goals. For instance, in a football match, players in a team have to work together to put the ball into the opponent’s net. Additionally, playing sports in teams is also a great opportunity to meet new people and make new friends. As a result, people can build up their network, which is highly beneficial to their career. From the foregoing discussion, playing individual or team sports both bring benefits for players. It depends on the preferences and the purposes of people when they choose a sport to join in.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, there has been a growing number of population who
are concerned
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. It is
generally
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will gain more benefits when engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Another opinion
Possible spelling mistake found.
emegers
that it is better to participate in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Based on the discussion of both points of view, this essay attempts to prove that both views are reasonable.

It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that taking part in individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
has more advantages. This is understandable due to the fact that solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to foster their independence
instead
of depending on others.
For example
, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
player
wants to win a match of tennis, he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
try his hardest as there is no one else to rely on. Another reason is that solo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
know that their success depends
mostly
on their effort, determination and concentration.
Therefore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every possible effort to achieve their goals.

From my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. The underlying reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
requires participants to cooperate with other teammates, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and achieve their goals.
For instance
, in a football match,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work together to put the ball into the opponent’s net.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teams
is
also
a great opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can build up their network, which is
highly
beneficial to their career.

From the foregoing discussion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
individual or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
both bring benefits for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. It depends on the preferences and the purposes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when they choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
in.
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IELTS essay Some people say that team sports are beneficial to players. Others say that individual sports are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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