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some people say that sports play an important role in society.others,however,think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity.discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people say that sports play an important role in society. others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. pRXQ9
when the discussion regrading sport activities there are dual opinion some people opine that playing sports game are vary crucial for the society while, few other say that it is just for enjoyment. if questions, both the viewpoints are analysis in ensuing paragraphs. examining the former opinion supports have claim that playing outdoor and indoor games are important for the society. the foremost reason is that it is keep healthy and fit. in other word, when people lay some outdoor games such as cricket, kabaddi and football, it gives fresh air and also improve mental abilities as well as physical fitness for example, are observation has conducted by world health organization (who) in 2015, which has montioned that around 37 percent people in all over the world keep fit and healthy because the playing sports. on the contrary, the proponents of the latter view, some other argue against that sports are nothing more but it is just only leisure activity to begin with, nowadays, people have very busy in their job schedule so they play some sport game in spare for instance, are survey has show that almost it percent people play sport game for their enjoyment. Moreover, when people frustrated in their work, they like to play games for the refreshmentTo sum up and offer my position, l bolster with the former opinion rather than latter once. No doubt, some sport games are for just free time activity, but it is more beneficial for maintaining health and fitness and improving mental abilities.
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when
the discussion regrading
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sport
activities there are dual opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
game are
Did you mean "very"?
vary
crucial for the society while, few other say that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for enjoyment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
if
questions, both the viewpoints are analysis in ensuing paragraphs.
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examining
the former opinion supports have claim that playing outdoor and indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the society.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
foremost reason is that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
healthy and fit.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
other word, when
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people
lay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
outdoor
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games
such as cricket,
Possible spelling mistake found.
kabaddi
and football, it gives fresh air and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
mental abilities
as well
as physical fitness
for example
, are observation has conducted by
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world health organization
(who) in 2015, which has
Possible spelling mistake found.
montioned
that around 37 percent
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people
in all over the world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit and healthy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the playing
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sports
.
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on
the contrary, the proponents of the latter view,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "others"?
other
argue against that
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sports
are nothing more
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but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
leisure activity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nowadays,
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people
have
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very
busy in their job schedule
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so
they play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
game in spare
for instance
, are survey has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that almost it percent
Did you mean "peoples"?
people
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
game for their enjoyment.
Moreover
, when
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people
frustrated in their work, they like to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
refreshmentTo
sum up and offer my position, l bolster with the former opinion
rather
than latter once. No doubt,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
free time activity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is more beneficial for maintaining health and fitness and improving mental abilities.
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IELTS essay some people say that sports play an important role in society. others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
253 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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