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Some people say that schools do not make enough efforts in technology young people to look after their health and there schools should undertake health education more seriously.Do you agree or disagree.

Some people say that schools do not make enough efforts in technology young people to look after their health and there schools should undertake health education more seriously. oKk3
Schools do not make much effort s in teaching of health to the young people as well as schools have to take health education seriously is said by some people. This essay agree and believe that schools should give more focus on health education. First and foremost benefit of health education will be the all around development of children. To say it, children are mentally and physically fit, because in school students learn about healthy food and prevent themself from various disease as well as other children also motivated by their classmates. In other words, lesson of health education tought at school will increase good habits in children. Schools provide the information to student wash their hand before take their food. For example, in UK all the schools have the rule of having a lecture once In a week on health education as well as teachers also take special care on the food which student consume. This all leads to 15% less sickness and diseases. Another benefits of health education is, students are physically healthy they participate in sports activities, because children are involved in theis activities is not only beneficial for physical health but can also help them to complete on national level. For instance, a report was published by "New York Times" in year 2018 in America 75% of schools tought their students about health education and this all leads to in America more Students are healthy. In conclusion, education regarding health is beneficial for children's overall development as well as kids become more successful when they are physically healthy and mentally fit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much effort s in teaching of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
seriously
is said
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should give more focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education.

First
and foremost benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be the all around development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. To say it,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are mentally and
physically
fit,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learn about healthy food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
from various disease as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
also
motivated by their classmates.
In other words
, lesson of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
provide the information to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
wash their hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
take their food.
For example
, in UK all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of having a lecture once In a week on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as teachers
also
take special care on the food which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
consume. This all leads to 15% less sickness and diseases.

Another benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
physically
healthy they participate in sports activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are involved
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
theis
activities is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to complete on national level.
For instance
, a report
was published
by
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
New York Times
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in year 2018 in America 75% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
Possible spelling mistake found.
tought
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and this all leads to in America more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are healthy.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is beneficial for children's
overall
development as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as kids become more successful when they are
physically
healthy and mentally fit.
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IELTS essay Some people say that schools do not make enough efforts in technology young people to look after their health and there schools should undertake health education more seriously.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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