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Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment. LkDr
Although many people believe that proficient worker like physician and professor who make great benefit to the society should be given more salary than the heroes in the film industry and sports player. I differ to these to a large extent for some reasons, my position is argued for the with relative justification in ensuring paragraphs. The principal argument to clear my position is that the entertainer and sport player have higher risk than the services employees. Such as cricket player have a risk of getting injured while the playing the game to add to this the player can be the role model of the young generation. For example if a child wants to become an cricketer his role model would be Sachin Tendulkar or as MS Dhoni. Additionally, comedy shows can reduce the stress of the human being and makes him laugh as well as it can be said as a best cure for some patient. For example in India there was a cancer patient which was on the last stage and he came out from the last stage of the cancer within the 12 months by watching the Kapil Sharma comedy show. However, I would not overlook the other side too, to begin with doctors or nurses which heals the enlightenment and the Teachers who nurture the students both plays an important role in the society. Thoughts to conclude the discussion it can be finally said that all the professional workers spot big role in state. I believe entertainer heroes and sport players are national.
Although
many
people
believe that proficient worker like physician and professor who
make
great benefit to the society should be
given
more salary than the heroes in the film industry and sports
player
. I differ to these to a large extent for
some
reasons, my position
is argued
for the with relative justification in ensuring paragraphs. The principal argument to
clear
my position is that the entertainer and sport
player
have higher
risk
than the services employees. Such as cricket
player
have a
risk
of getting injured while the playing the game to
add
to this the
player
can be the
role
model of the young generation.
For example
if a child wants to become
an
cricketer his
role
model would be
Sachin
Tendulkar
or as MS
Dhoni
.
Additionally
, comedy
shows
can
reduce
the
stress
of the human being and
makes
him laugh
as well
as it can
be said
as
a
best cure for
some
patient.
For example
in India there was a cancer patient which was on the last
stage and
he came out from the last stage of the cancer within the 12 months by watching the
Kapil
Sharma comedy
show
.
However
, I would not overlook the other side too, to
begin
with doctors or nurses which heals the enlightenment and the Teachers who nurture the students both plays an
important
role
in the society. Thoughts
to conclude
the discussion it can be
finally
said that all the professional workers spot
big
role
in state. I believe entertainer heroes and sport
players
are national.
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IELTS essay Some people say that professional workers such as doctors, nurses and teachers who make greater contribution to the society should be paid more than those people in the field of sports and entertainment.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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