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some people say that parents should organise free time activity for their children.other say children should be free to choose what they do in their free time.discuss both side and opine.

some people say that parents should organise free time activity for their children. other say children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. GW6BB
In this era, there are several kind of thinking are available to people. few being believe that parents should plan to activities for their children in their free time. due to, some people say children should able to organise activities which they want. I will discuss both sides and the i will give my opinion in the up coming paragraph. There are many benefits to children which parents plan for their free time activity. Firstly, children are not mature to choose what is wrong and right. That reason child are not able to choose perfect activity. Secondly, parents should organise games and activities related to our traditional and culture because youngsters can learn and get more information about our country. Thirdly, if they play outdoor games such as cricket, hocky and many more rather than indoor games, they get huge gain to maintain their health and fitness.
In this era, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "several kinds".
several kind
of thinking are available to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
few
being
Consider using a past participle here: "believed".
believe
that parents should plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their free time.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
due
to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Did you mean "should be able"?
should able
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which they want. I will discuss both sides and the
Did you mean "I"?
i
will give my opinion in the up coming paragraph. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which parents plan for their free time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not mature to choose what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right. That reason child are not able to choose perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
.
Secondly
, parents should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
games and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
related to our traditional and culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
youngsters can learn and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information about our country.
Thirdly
, if they play outdoor games such as cricket,
Possible spelling mistake found.
hocky
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
rather
than indoor games, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
huge gain to maintain their health and fitness.

IELTS essay some people say that parents should organise free time activity for their children. other say children should be free to choose what they do in their free time.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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