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Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. XBeE
Nowadays the world is running with enthralling champions. Residents are suggesting that participating in an activities held in the society is imperial; whereas, others saying that learning themselves would provide the increase of individuality. As far as my concern, children ought to include in doing the activities who are organising by coordinators. Firstly, parents should be anticipating the day which is very significant in this busy universe, because adolescents were brought up with the computerized system. To ennunciate, practical knowledge gives the splendid experience when compared to listening; therefore, to obtain edification in a proper way definitely, children should be encouraged to involve in group activites are crucial. Moreover, their communication skills increases, leadership qualities would obviously go high, and alleviating stage fear too. Thus, the top-notch results will comes out and touches the sky. On the other hand, some are arguing that individual learning would lead to achieve anything in life; wherever, these child goes their work will be doing by their own way. For instance, one of my friends who is the only daughter for their family, she interprets the things and solve one-by-one in her way of style which is quite unique. Admittedly, to incur something individual learning is also important. To summarize, either in troupe or single achieving immense things which are valuable to society or for ourselves. In my opinion, assembling and transmission of thoughts to oneself would greately improve the standard of living.
Nowadays the world is running with enthralling champions. Residents are suggesting that participating in
an activities
held in the society is imperial; whereas, others saying that learning themselves would provide the increase of individuality. As far as my concern, children ought to include in doing the activities who are
organising
by coordinators.

Firstly
, parents should be anticipating the day which is
very
significant in this busy universe,
because
adolescents
were brought
up with the computerized system. To
ennunciate
, practical knowledge gives the splendid experience when compared to listening;
therefore
, to obtain edification
in a proper way
definitely, children should
be encouraged
to involve in group
activites
are crucial.
Moreover
, their communication
skills
increases, leadership qualities would
obviously
go high, and alleviating stage fear too.
Thus
, the top-notch results will
comes
out and touches the sky.

On the other hand
,
some
are arguing that individual learning would lead to achieve anything in life; wherever, these child goes their work will be doing by their
own
way.
For instance
, one of my friends who
is
the
only
daughter for their family, she interprets the things and solve one-by-one in her way of style which is quite unique.
Admittedly
, to incur something individual learning is
also
important
.

To summarize
, either in troupe or single achieving immense things which are valuable to society or for ourselves. In my opinion, assembling and transmission of thoughts to oneself would
greately
improve
the standard of living.
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IELTS essay Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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