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some people say that online education is now better than traditional teaching and studying. To what extent do you agree with this opinion

some people say that online education is now better than traditional teaching and studying. To what extent do you agree with this opinion eww5K
In the current context, when the covid pandemic is complicated, online learning is an indispensable choice for students to continue learning. Although it is undeniable that this method has several valid merits, I still believe that traditional education benefits students more than online learning does so I disagree with the point of view above. First of all, there is a point worth noting that students have difficulty concentrating on the lectures when studying online. There are many reasons for this. Firstly, e-learning considerably depends on network connection so just some minutes that the connection fails can make them miss information and misunderstand the lessons. Secondly, when studying online, they can access a wide variety of entertainment resources such as games, movies, . . . which distract them from studying. Moreover, they have less interaction with their teachers and friends, just do their work on their own. Another point to notice is that online learning takes a toll on students' health. Sitting in front of the computer for a long time badly affects their eyes, back, neck, back. . . Moreover, it can cause a number of cardiovascular diseases. In conclusion, I
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
context, when the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic
is complicated
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
is an indispensable choice for students to continue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Although it is undeniable that this method has several valid merits, I
still
believe that traditional education benefits students more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
does
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I disagree with the point of view above.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is a point worth noting that students have difficulty concentrating on the lectures when studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for this.
Firstly
, e-learning
considerably
depends on network connection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
minutes that the connection fails can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them miss information and misunderstand the lessons.
Secondly
, when studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, they can access a wide variety of entertainment resources such as games, movies
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
which
distract them from studying.
Moreover
, they have less interaction with their teachers and friends,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
do their work on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Another point to notice is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
takes a toll on students' health. Sitting in front of the computer for a long time
badly
affects their eyes, back, neck, back.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Moreover
, it can cause a number of cardiovascular diseases.

In conclusion
, I

IELTS essay some people say that online education is now better than traditional teaching and studying. To what extent do you agree with this opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
190 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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