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some people say that one should share as much as information in scientific, academic and business .Others say some information is too important or valuable to share. Discuss both views.

some people say that one should share as much as information in scientific, academic and business. Others say some information is too important or valuable to share. Gg7e
Some people consider that sharing the maximum amount of knowledge in scientific research, business and the academic world is beneficial whereas some individuals argue that some information is way too valuable to be shared easily. In my opinion, sharing of sensitive information needs to be checked whereas others can flow freely. Passing the knowledge from one person to another is vital for the growth of society. In the academic world, having as much information as possible increases the child's spectrum of learning thereby providing access to a range of resources is important in the academic world. In the case of scientific research, one's resources might become a starting point for other research. For example, the knowledge of current touch screen technology became a base while introducing phones with stylus functions. Furthermore, in the business world sharing the maximum information about a product and the way that business works might attract a lot of customers. On the other hand, there is information that needs to be safeguarded for the betterment of a nation or a business. For example, information on nuclear bombs if made available readily might be misused by criminal minded people to cause destruction and hence such information has to be protected. Besides that, it might lead to stealing of credits such as an individual develops technology such as health tracking application which uses methods to track heart rate, blood pressure etc but never got the intellectual property right. Another person might just add a pedometer and claim on the whole invention. Considering the business world, the competition out there is immense. Information such as trade secrets or data of potential customers might bring a better substitute in the market. Businesses focus on the prevention of information to prevent their downfall. To sum up, though sharing knowledge can be fruitful but it is necessary to limit the flow of valuable information.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
the maximum amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in scientific research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is beneficial whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is way too valuable to
be shared
easily
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of sensitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checked
whereas others can flow
freely
. Passing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
from one person to another is vital for the growth of society. In the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, having as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as possible increases the child's spectrum of learning thereby providing access to a range of resources is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In the case of scientific research, one's resources
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
become a starting point for other research.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
touch screen technology became a base while introducing phones with stylus functions.
Furthermore
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a product and the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
works
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
customers.
On the other hand
, there is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that needs to
be safeguarded
for the betterment of a nation or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on nuclear bombs if made available
readily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be misused
by criminal minded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to cause destruction and
hence
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be protected
.
Besides
that, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
lead to stealing of credits such as an individual develops technology such as health tracking application which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
heart rate, blood pressure etc
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the intellectual property right. Another person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
a pedometer and claim
on the whole
invention. Considering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, the competition out there is immense.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
such as trade secrets or data of potential customers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
bring a better substitute in the market.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Businesses
focus on the prevention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their downfall. To sum up, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
can be fruitful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is necessary to limit the flow of valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
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IELTS essay some people say that one should share as much as information in scientific, academic and business. Others say some information is too important or valuable to share.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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