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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

There had been a heated debate about whether a range of melodies can make the distance between many different cultures or ages and human more closer. Personally, I totally agree with this statement. This essay will discuss my point of view and illustrate my arguement. Firstly, a number of people with the same favourite or genres of music but live in a different countries can connect to each other. More specifically, some music concerts where assembled numerous of fans with their own culture together and share their habit. In addition, music not only had a function that for entertain, it is also provide the audiences more informations, patterns, human personalities, etc through many ages which they represented. That mean, we could know the culture in the past through some rhythms that composed in the past. Secondly, besidees bringing people from different nationalitis together, it is also did not limit the age to listen. Many people can enjoy the music in the diverse of ages if they have the same kind of music. For example, my sister always talks with her friend in the USA. Suprisingly, my sister older than her American friend. To sum up, while other thinks that the music just for listening and amusing. However, I still lean on variety of songs can make the world better by stick the people come from many cultures, ages and nationalities together.
There had been a heated debate about whether a range of melodies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the distance between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and human more closer.
Personally
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. This essay will discuss my point of view and illustrate my
Possible spelling mistake found.
arguement
.
Firstly
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with the same
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favourite’ is British English.
favourite
or genres of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries can connect to each other. More
specifically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
concerts where assembled numerous of fans with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
together and share their habit.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
had a function that for entertain, it is
also
provide the audiences more
The word ‘informations’ is a legal term. In standard English, the word ‘information’ is a non-count noun.
informations
, patterns, human personalities, etc through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
which they represented.
Did you mean “That is” or “That was”?
That
mean, we could know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in the past through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rhythms that composed in the past.
Secondly
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
besidees
bringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
nationalitis
together, it is
also
did not limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
to listen.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
in the
The phrase ‘the diverse of’ is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between ‘the’ and ‘of’.
diverse
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
if they have the same kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
For example
, my sister always talks with her friend in the USA.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Suprisingly
, my sister older than her American friend. To sum up, while other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for listening and amusing.
However
, I
still
lean on variety of songs can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the world better by stick the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
and nationalities together.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together with this opinion.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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