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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is said that music has the power to unite and connect people, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or ages. I completely agree with this view, and my reasons are stated below. Music is an effective way of communicating among people with different cultures, languages, races, and can bring them together. For about forty years, live concerts have been held with singers from different countries to help people were affected by natural disasters and war. Through humanitarian concerts, diverse cultures and age groups come together. As a result, people enjoy being together, and due to the information contained in these concerts, they become aware of the people who need help in the world. Surely, music can be a language of empathy and unity among people around the world. Also, music is a form of art, which everyone appreciates. Undoubtedly, one of its values is that it can bridge the gaps between generations and ages. When songs and melodies regarding peace, sympathy, and love are released, are not restricted to a specific age. In fact, they can affect varied age groups equally because they represent emotions and the inner nature of humankind. Besides, there are numerous teenagers and young people who adore listening to traditional music with their parents and even grandparents, and in the opposite, elderly individuals who choose to listen to new styles of music such as hip-hop. I would claim that no other form of entertainment can bring generations together in this way. In conclusion, music is a significant part of peoples' lives, and it can also act as a powerful means of uniting people of different cultures and ages.
It
is said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
has the power to unite and connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, regardless of their cultural backgrounds or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view, and my reasons
are stated
below.

Music is an effective way of communicating among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, languages, races, and can bring them together. For about forty years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
concerts have
been held
with singers from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by natural disasters and war. Through humanitarian concerts, diverse cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enjoy being together, and due to the information contained in these concerts, they become aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the world.
Surely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can be a language of empathy and unity among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world.

Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a form of art, which everyone appreciates.
Undoubtedly
, one of its values is that it can bridge the gaps between generations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
. When songs and melodies regarding peace, sympathy, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
are released
, are not restricted to a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
. In fact, they can affect varied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
groups
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they represent emotions and the inner nature of humankind.
Besides
, there are numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who adore listening to traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
with their parents and even grandparents, and in the opposite, elderly individuals who choose to listen to new styles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
such as hip-hop. I would claim that no other form of entertainment can bring generations together in this way.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is a significant part of peoples'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and it can
also
act as a powerful means of uniting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ages
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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