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  Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, to travel or to work. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some pupils take a year break after finishing their high school studies for travelling or working before they register in a university. On the one hand, there are some profits for high school graduates who decide to enter the job market or travel for a year before enrolling university.  When young students travel, they can know various people and cultures and because of that, gain valuable experiences and their horizons broaden at an appropriate age.  Consequently, travelling makes students mature, which is effective in their better performance at the university.  For instance, many students enter college with little idea of what they want to study or do after graduation.  Another positive outcome is that while working young people can discover their favorite job, they will choose their field of study more consciously because they are in the job market. They can also handle the money they earn during this year to cover their university fees. However, the one-year gap between school and university has potential downsides for students. First,  students who work after graduation from school obtain a sense of financial independence, which lead them to prefer staying in the job market to study academically at the university.  Second, a year of travel will cost a large amount of money for young students. According to the "New York Times", a three-month trip can cost up to $10, 000.  Moreover,  returning to college after a gap year can feel awkward.  A one-year break causes students to stay away from the subjects and the academic environment and as a result, forget much material, which will challenge them to begin the university and take the entrance exams. In conclusion, despite some negative aspects, in my opinion the benefits of a gap year are more significant for the reasons mentioned.
Some
pupils take a
year
break after finishing their high
school
studies
for travelling or working
before
they register in a university.

On the one hand, there are
some
profits for high
school
graduates who decide to enter the
job
market or travel for a
year
before
enrolling
university
.  When young
students
travel, they can know various
people
and cultures and 
because
of that, gain valuable experiences and their horizons broaden at an appropriate age.  
Consequently
, travelling
makes
students
mature, which is effective in their better performance at the
university
.  
For instance
,
many
students
enter college with
little
idea
of what they want to
study
or do after graduation.  Another
positive
outcome is that while working young
people
can discover their favorite
job
, they will choose their field of
study
more
consciously
because
they are in the
job
market. They can
also
handle the money they earn during this
year
to cover their
university
fees.

However
, the one-year gap between
school
and
university
has potential downsides for
students
.
First
,
 students
who work after graduation from
school
obtain a sense of financial independence, which lead them to prefer staying in the
job
market to
study
academically
at the
university
.  Second, a
year
of travel will cost a large amount of money for young
students
. According to the
"
New York Times
"
, a three-month trip can cost up to $10, 000.  
Moreover
,
 
returning to college after a gap
year
can feel awkward.  A one-year break causes
students
to stay away from the subjects and the academic environment and
as a result
, forget much material, which will challenge them to
begin
the
university
and take the entrance exams.

In conclusion
, despite
some
negative
aspects, in my opinion the benefits of a gap
year
are more significant for the reasons mentioned.
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IELTS essay Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, to travel or to work. Do you think that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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