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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

It is often argued that music is a better way of joining of diverse nations and different age groups altogether. I completely agree that songs are the most useful tool to bring different beliefs and demographics under one roof. On the one hand, I agree that we do not generalize music to all cultures and ages. Firstly, there is a far difference between the languages of different countries, so it is not possible to understand the lyrics of the music. Secondly, different age groups have their tastes and preferences for music. In this way, we do not put them together. For instance, Chinese language is far different and difficult as compared to other languages only native people can understand their lyrics which is used in music. Nevertheless, I believe that music is very valuable to understand different cultures and the problems they are facing. Music which is related to culture may enhance knowledge of people who do not even know about that culture before. There is also available music about different wars and different disparities which are local communities facing. If developed countries listen to that music; they get to know their conditions and then they would do something for them. For example, there is a music on attack at army school, from that music people get to know about the grieve of the parents of that children who martyred on that attack. In conclusion, although music is very difficult to understand, but it is very helpful in forwarding messages nationally and internationally.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
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music
is a better way of joining of diverse nations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
age groups altogether. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that songs are the most useful tool to bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
beliefs and demographics under one roof.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we do not generalize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and ages.
Firstly
, there is a far difference between the languages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is not possible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
the lyrics of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
age groups have their tastes and preferences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
. In this way, we do not put them together.
For instance
, Chinese language is far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
and difficult as compared to other languages
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
their lyrics which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in music.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
valuable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and the problems they are facing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
which
is related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
may enhance knowledge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who do not even know about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. There is
also
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
wars and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
disparities which are local communities facing. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
listen to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
; they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
conditions and
then they would do something for them.
For example
, there is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
on attack at army school, from that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about
After ‘the’, do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of ‘grieve’ is correct. If ‘grieve’ is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the grieve
of the parents of that children who martyred on that attack.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in forwarding messages
nationally
and
internationally
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. with this opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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