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More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

An increasing number of individual uses drinks with a large amount of sugar. This essay will have 2 possible reasons, the first is taste of sweet drink and the second reason is large choices in the store and it will be 2 possible solutions, one of them is decrease cost of water to encourage people use clean water and the second is sell only water in education centres. Firstly, the reason why a share of members of society drinks sugar- based drinks is taste. Sugar is sweet, so drinks with sweet taste are popular. An increasing number of popular drinks is sold in every market or store. In addition, people tend to choose sweet drinks than only water. If everyone was encouraged to drink water, the part of people who could use sweet water would decrease. Thus, the first possible solution of this problem can be to make popular drinking water and do its cost very cheap. Secondly, the next cause could to be a significant range of choice. For example, it was reported in 2019 in Times that 90% of students who studied in №146 school chose water when a choice was minimal. Drinking water is very important, so selling only water would minimize number of students who drink sugar-based drinks. The second possible solution is to sell only water in large of schools and universities and organize lectures about disadvantages and the risks of drinking big portions of sweet drinks. In conclusion, the reason of growing number of people are drinking sweet drinks are taste and a large choice in the store. People are likely to choose sugar- based drinks, because they are sweet and have a lot of variation. Therefore, possible solutions can be to encourage people to buy water with cheap cost and sell only water in most places where children and students have education.
An increasing
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number
of individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
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drinks
with a
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large
amount of
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sugar
. This essay will have 2
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possible
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reasons
, the
first
is
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taste
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drink
and the second
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reason
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in the
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
store and
it will be 2
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possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
, one of them is decrease cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
to encourage
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
clean
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water
and the second is sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in education
Possible spelling mistake. ‘centres’ is British English.
centres
.
Firstly
, the
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reason
why a share of members of society
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drinks
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sugar-
based
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drinks
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taste
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
is
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sweet
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taste
are popular. An increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
is sold
in every market or store.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
. If everyone
was encouraged
to
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drink
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
, the part of
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people
who could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
would decrease.
Thus
, the
first
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possible
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solution
of this problem can be to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
and do its cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.

Secondly
, the
next
cause could to be a significant range of
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choice
.
For example
, it
was reported
in 2019 in Times that 90% of students who studied in №146 school chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
was minimal.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
selling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
would minimize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of students who
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drink
sugar-based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
. The second
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possible
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solution
is to sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
of schools and universities and organize lectures about disadvantages and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
drinks.

In conclusion
, the
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reason
of growing
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number
of
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people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taste
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choice
in the store.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are likely to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar-
based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drinks
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sweet
and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
variation.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
solutions
can be to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
cost and sell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
water
in most places where children and students have education.
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IELTS essay More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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