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Some people say that mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people say that mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. v. 4
Different people have different opinions about the usage of one of the most commonly used fidgeting gadgets -mobile phones in public places. While I believe that the rule of restricting its usage could be beneficial to a certain extent, I also put forth that it would create some negative consequences to the regular users and in people' s emergencies as this rule would become a scrutiny. There are several arguments to support this restriction: First, had the mobile phones been let free in public places like libraries, there would be a higher probability for the other people to get distracted. This distraction could completely spoil the reading environment for which they are meant for. Secondly, if there is a ban on the usage of mobile phones in railway stations, is there a possibility for the work to progress without any disruption or stagnation. Take for an instance, passengers who are supposed to buy tickets or the issuing authorities have a conversation over their mobile phones while they are supposed to do their duties, there happens a delay in the workflow for no important reason. Though the ban imposed could bring benefits, it is the need of the hour to analyse the drawbacks of it. People who oppose the restriction of this rule state that a few negative sides are in the limelight. According to their view, the more they use the mobile phones, the more they will be connected with their circle- be it their family, colleagues or friends. Due to the restriction placed on, they might not find time to catch up with their dear ones’ and this would be more appropriate for the commuters who use mobile phones while commuting. Besides this, in cases of emergencies wherein a person has to pick up the call in public places, this rule would be an obstruction. As a result, the information which has to be conveyed to them could be delayed and this may make a great difference in their lives. By and large, the restriction of mobile phones in public places has its own fair share of advantages and disadvantages. Therefore, in my opinion, wherever we use a mobile phone, we should make sure that no person or work is disturbed because of our cell phone usage. It is also suggested that every person should think by instinct and use mobile phones as and when it is required.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of one of the most
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
fidgeting gadgets -mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. While I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
of restricting its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
could be beneficial to a certain extent, I
also
put forth that it would create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the regular users and in
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s emergencies as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
would become a scrutiny.

There are several arguments to support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
:
First
, had the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
free in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like libraries, there would be a higher probability for the other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
distracted. This distraction could completely spoil the reading environment for which they
are meant
for.
Secondly
, if there is a ban on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in railway stations, is there a possibility for the work to progress without any disruption or stagnation. Take for an instance, passengers who
are supposed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
tickets or the issuing authorities have a conversation over their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while they
are supposed
to do their duties, there happens a delay in the workflow for no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason. Though the ban imposed could bring benefits, it is the need of the hour to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the drawbacks of it.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who oppose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
state that a few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides are in the limelight. According to their view, the more they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, the more they will
be connected
with their circle- be it their family, colleagues or friends. Due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
placed on, they might not find time to catch up with their dear ones’ and this would be more appropriate for the commuters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
while commuting.
Besides
this, in cases of emergencies wherein a person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pick up the call in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
would be an obstruction.
As a result
, the information which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be conveyed
to them could
be delayed
and this may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a great difference in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

By and large, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
restriction
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share of advantages and disadvantages.
Therefore
, in my opinion, wherever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that no person or work
is disturbed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
usage
. It is
also
suggested that every person should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
by instinct and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
as and when it
is required
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay Some people say that mobile phones should not be allowed in public places, others argue that people should be free to use their mobiles wherever they like. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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