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Some people say that formal education is the most important to a person’s success. Others believe that practical experience that a person acquires in real life is more crucial to become successful.

Some people say that formal education is the most important to a person’s success. Others believe that practical experience that a person acquires in real life is more crucial to become successful. ArMDl
It is believed that official teaching is the main key to success. In contrast, the others argue that actual understanding in reality is more essential than the theory from original studying. Personally, studying in both theory or real experience is also important. In general, students all over the world are forced to study at school when they are small because their parents believe that is the best way for them to do well. In general, it is true because when a child is born, they don’t know everything around them and school is the appropriate place for them. In there, they will be teached everything which will provide them lots of knowledge and help them know more about the world. Beside that, it is necessary for you to know information about the things you want to do. Then you are able to do it easily and smoothly. For instance, doctors can not heal patients if they don’t have a 6 years certificate in university. At the time they spend in university, they gain knowledge and comprehension. On the other side, the learning that we have done in real life brings back to us a large amount of experience to winning. After studying theory from our original education, we can use it for practical exercises. The more we train ourselves in reality, the more experience we achieve. This information from time to time helps us improve our skill and wisdom. Back to the doctor example, after graduating from university, the college students will become an intern for a time to have practical experience. After that period, they are considerate depending on their working results in hospital. In short, the top method to be effective is learning in a traditional form of education and the experience complementary adds more percentage to succeed. All in all, not only learning theory methods is important but gaining practical experience from real life is also essential to victory.
It
is believed
that official teaching is the main key to success.
In contrast
, the others argue that actual understanding in reality is more essential than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
from original studying.
Personally
, studying in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
or real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

In general
, students all over the world
are forced
to study at school when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their parents believe
that is
the best way for them to do well.
In general
, it is true
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a child
is born
, they don’t know everything around them and school is the appropriate place for them.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
there, they will be
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "taught", the past tense form of the verb 'teach'?
teached
everything which will provide them lots of knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them know more about the world. Beside that, it is necessary for you to know information about the things you want to do. Then you are able to do it
easily
and
smoothly
.
For instance
, doctors can not heal patients if they don’t have a 6 years certificate in university. At the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they spend in university, they gain knowledge and comprehension.

On the other side, the learning that we have done in real life brings back to us a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
to winning. After studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
from our original education, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for practical exercises. The more we train ourselves in reality, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
we achieve. This information from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and wisdom. Back to the doctor example, after graduating from university, the college students will become an intern for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to have practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. After that period, they are considerate depending on their working results in hospital. In short, the top method to be effective is learning in a traditional form of education and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
complementary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
more percentage to succeed.

All in all, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
theory
methods is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
gaining practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
from real life is
also
essential to victory.
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IELTS essay Some people say that formal education is the most important to a person’s success. Others believe that practical experience that a person acquires in real life is more crucial to become successful.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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