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some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

A group of people say that the country development rely on the education system and they further says that its consider the only critical success in the nation development. Well, education is very important for scientific revolution, and build a strong base knowledge for young generations, and develop their capabilities in different occupations. In fact, countries who do not have a strong education system with good reputation will resist and late for the new revolution. In other words, we lives in a world lie on speed and technology and time becomes very important. Eventually, countries who invest on the education system are able to achieve their targets in different manners and sectors. A very good education system will help countries attract students from all over the world to come and join their local schools, colleges, and universities and that’s will make the country an international destination. Furthermore, an ideal education system will help the governments created a well-educated generation, which give the chance to export skilled human resources. Despite the fact how important the academic sector is, countries still need to have a well-constructed infrastructure, and having a suitable facilities in different sectors, such as colleges, universities, schools, activity centers, hospitals, airports, commercial facilities, residential buildings and more. All mentioned facilities are highly needed to support the education system, we are talking about an integrated organization system and that’s consists not only education facilities but more. Even though, countries still need to focus on other significant things, like enhance culture activities, bring international investment, open new markets, develop economic plans and strategy plans to reduce the unemployment rates and finding new job opportunities for the output of the education system. As a conclusion, countries should an integrated development approach to cover all sectors, and make the development process works effectively.
A group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
development rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
system and
they
further
The pronoun ‘they’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “say”
says
that its consider the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
critical success in the nation development.

Well,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for scientific revolution, and build
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “strong base knowledge”.
a strong base knowledge
for young generations, and develop their capabilities in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
occupations. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who do not have a strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reputation will resist and late for the new revolution.
In other words
, we
The pronoun ‘we’ must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: “live”
lives
in a world lie on speed and technology and time becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Eventually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
who invest on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
are able to achieve their targets in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
manners and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
. A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
attract students from all over the world to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
their local schools, colleges, and universities and that’s will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
an international destination.
Furthermore
, an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
created a well-educated generation, which give the chance to export skilled human resources.

Despite the fact how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
still
need to have a well-constructed infrastructure, and having
The plural noun “facilities” cannot be used with the article “a”. Did you mean “a suitable facility” or “suitable facilities”?
a suitable facilities
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, such as colleges, universities, schools, activity centers, hospitals, airports, commercial facilities, residential buildings and more. All mentioned facilities are
highly
needed to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
, we are talking about an integrated organization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
system
and that’s consists not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more.

Even though
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
still
need to focus on other significant things, like enhance culture activities, bring international investment, open new markets, develop economic plans and strategy plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rates and finding new job opportunities for the output of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.

As a conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should an integrated development approach to cover all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the development process works
effectively
.
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IELTS essay some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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