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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although it is sometimes thought that advertisements are the main reason that people decide to buy a particular product, others believe that we are surrounded by them, and they are not as persuasive as they used to be in the past. On the one hand, some people consider that advertising is highly effective and convincing. Nowadays, companies use various ways of promoting their products. In other words, we may be targeted without even being known. To illustrate, social media has an influential role in encouraging us to purchase products that we may not even need. For instance, we may follow our favorite celebrity on Instagram. They might upload a new picture of themselves hiking in nature on a sunny day, also tagging the brand of trainers they are wearing. As a result, we will have a positive feeling toward that brand in our unconscious mind. As explained, companies don't use the same traditional advertisings in order to persuade us. According to the survey results and the increasing contracts with celebrities, businesses are achieving their goals. On the other hand, some people are in doubts about the effectiveness of the advertisements. They believe that we are surrounded by them, and we can see them every day. For example, there are a lot of advertising billboards in our streets trying to encourage us to, but we feel somehow neutral toward them. Moreover, they think that these items are two advertised and repeated and we may prefer something more unique. In my opinion, these people don't see the whole picture. These businesses find new marketing strategies to convince us. They may publicize their products less often, in an indirect way like charities. So, we may focus on another subject rather than the item, but we will finally buy them. In my opinion, we live in a society that is surrounded by advertisements, and there are various ways to convince the public to buy things products. As these companies are getting bigger and making more profit every year, I believe they are convincing enough.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that advertisements are the main reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, others believe that we
are surrounded
by them, and they are not as persuasive as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be in the past.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that advertising is
highly
effective and convincing. Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
various ways of promoting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In other words
, we may
be targeted
without even
being known
. To illustrate, social media has an influential role in encouraging us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we may not even need.
For instance
, we may follow our favorite celebrity on Instagram. They might upload a new picture of themselves hiking in nature on a sunny day,
also
tagging the brand of trainers they are wearing.
As a result
, we will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
feeling toward that brand in our unconscious mind. As
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the same traditional
Possible spelling mistake found.
advertisings
in order to persuade us. According to the survey results and the increasing contracts with celebrities, businesses are achieving their goals.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in doubts about the effectiveness of the advertisements. They believe that we
are surrounded
by them, and we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them every day.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advertising billboards in our streets trying to encourage us to,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we feel somehow neutral toward them.
Moreover
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these items are two advertised and
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
repeated and
we may prefer something more unique. In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the whole picture. These businesses find new marketing strategies to convince us. They may publicize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
, in an indirect way like charities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, we may focus on another subject
rather
than the item,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we will
finally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.

In my opinion, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a society that
is surrounded
by advertisements, and there are various ways to convince the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are getting bigger and making more profit every year, I believe they are convincing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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