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some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. kwLR
Advertisement has enormous impact on the life of people. Throughout the decade, the level of advertisement has been escalating rapidly with the improvement of modern technology. However, it is a controversial issue relate to whether advertising is very successful at encouraging people to buy products or it is so prevalent that on one pay attention to it. Nevertheless, I personally favor on the latter view. To commence with, on one side of the argument, the majority of individual assert that it provides much more information about products. Furthermore, due to the hectic lifestyles, numerous people do not have abundance time to browse for a product. So, therefore, advertisement provides assistance to human beings to know about products. In addition to this, advertisers advertise their products in such a way that makes people to buy things although, that product is not their cup of tea. For instance: relative commodities appear frequently while watching tv which hypnotizes people’s minds and eventually, they become eager to buy it at any cost. Moreover, they generally use celebrities to publicize their products so that people will buy it. So, making long statement short, advertisement has become successful to motivate people to buy. however, on the other side of the arguments, numerous people argue that the increment of advertisement has led people to ignore such advertisements. For example: whenever we watch tv, or youtube in the internet, they show advertisements in every 5 minutes, which makes people to feel bore to watch that. Consequently, their’s interest on such goods reduces. Besides it, consumers’ trust towards advertisement has reduced drastically in recent years because of not providing quality products as shown in advertising. It is provided that, proponents usually obtain goods which are beyond their imagination. As far as I am concerned, even though, being successful in an extreme way in advertising, It has become less attentive in now and then. It is due to the fact that, the number of advertisement is surging and occurring in the middle of television shows, films made people furious and they skip video. Taking everything into consideration, I would concede that advertising has become successful notably. Despite that, it has become predominantly common that almost half of the population pays few focus.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
has enormous impact on the life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Throughout the decade, the level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has been escalating
rapidly
with the improvement of modern technology.
However
, it is a controversial issue relate to whether advertising is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
at encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
or it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prevalent that on one pay attention to it.
Nevertheless
, I
personally
favor on the latter view.

To commence with, on one side of the argument, the majority of individual assert that it provides much more information about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Furthermore
, due to the hectic lifestyles, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have abundance time to browse for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
provides assistance to human beings to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
In addition
to this, advertisers advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in such a way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things although, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not their cup of tea.
For instance
: relative commodities appear
frequently
while watching
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
which hypnotizes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds and
eventually
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it at any cost.
Moreover
, they
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
celebrities to publicize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, making long statement short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, on the other side of the arguments, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the increment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
For example
: whenever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
, or
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
The usual collocation for technology is "on," not "in." It is better to say this: "on the internet".
in the internet
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in every 5 minutes, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feel bore to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
that.
Consequently
,
Did you mean "their" or "theirs"?
their’s
interest on such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
.
Besides
it, consumers’ trust towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
drastically
in recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not providing quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as shown in advertising. It
is provided
that, proponents
usually
obtain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which are beyond their imagination.

As far as I
am concerned
,
even though
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
Consider replacing "in an extreme way" with the adverb for "extreme"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an extreme way
in advertising, It has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
less attentive in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then. It is due to the fact that, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is surging and occurring in the middle of television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, films made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
furious and
they skip video.

Taking everything into consideration, I would concede that advertising has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
notably
. Despite that, it has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
predominantly
common that almost half of the population pays
Possible agreement error. The noun focus seems to be countable; consider using: "few foci", "few focuses", "few focusses".
few focus
.
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IELTS essay some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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