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Some people believe that the best way to increase the road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that the best way to increase the road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars. YPkK
In this contemporary era road accidents are increasing day by day and today it has been a prevailing concern in a significant part of the world. A decent number of people preserve a notion that to mitigate road accidents the best solution is to improve the minimum legal age for driving cars. I am disagreeing with this statement and there are myriad of reasons behind my disagreement which will be discussed here. To embark with, there are some substantial reasons which provoked me to go in the favour of the disagreement and these are as follows. Firstly, nowadays it is a one kind of tendency for drivers that they are always trying to overtaking another vehicles, thus there is a plethora of accidents are being occurred each and every year due to this reason. If they change their behaviour, it ensures that the road safety also will increase because both of issues are connected. Secondly and most significantly, today it is a common scenario on the road that most of the drivers getting drunk while driving and at present it is one of the key obstacle to road safety. Further emphasizing on my point of view, driving at high speed in another predominant Reason to road accidents. It causes lots of serious accident and through this incident it can ruin the life of others. Hence, in order to raise the road safety authority should create a mandatory law regarding the limited speed while driving. In conclusion, after a detailed discussion I strongly believe that in order to curb the road accidents the minimum legal age for driving cars not could be an only way, rather reduce overtaking, prohibited drink when drive and limited speed these will be playing a crucial role in terms of increase road safety.
In this contemporary era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are increasing day by day and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it has been a prevailing concern in a significant part of the world. A decent number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
preserve a notion that to mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
the best solution is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the minimum legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars. I
The verb 'disagreeing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
am disagreeing
with this statement and there are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind my disagreement which will
be discussed
here.

To embark with, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
substantial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which provoked me to go in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the disagreement and these are as follows.
Firstly
, nowadays it is a one kind of tendency for drivers that they are always trying to
Did you mean "overtake"?
overtaking
another vehicles,
thus
there is a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are
being occurred
each and every year due to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
. If they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, it ensures that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety
also
will increase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of issues
are connected
.
Secondly
and most
significantly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
it is a common scenario on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
that most of the drivers getting drunk while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
and at present it is one of the key obstacle to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Further
emphasizing on my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
at high speed in another predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reason
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. It causes lots of serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
and through this incident it can ruin the life of others.
Hence
, in order to raise the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety authority should create a mandatory law regarding the limited speed while driving.

In conclusion
, after a detailed discussion I
strongly
believe that in order to curb the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
the minimum legal age for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
cars not could be an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way,
rather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
overtaking, prohibited drink when drive and limited speed these will be playing a crucial role in terms of increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
safety.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the best way to increase the road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving cars.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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