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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Advertising has been always a great way for brands and companies to introduce their products and increase their sale and they have been using different creative ways to encourage more and more people to buy their things. like tempting people by buying their goods and entering a raffle as well. or inviting celebrities to advertise something for their brand. There is no doubt that some of those colorful, musical, glorious advertisements sound really tempting and their think tank deserves a big reward. Nowadays, some people still look at advertising as a strong tool for companies and by development of technology, advertising has been extended too. Today we do not just see advertisements in TV or hear them in radio, but it seems that they are everywhere in different shapes. in Big billboards around the city, in your smart phone, in your social accounts and your favorite bloggers' pages. Even in your favorite movies and series. So can't we conclude that advertising is still successful enough for businesses to invest in? Otherwise they wouldn't spend their money somewhere else? So commercial advertisements are still working out and have got big effects on some people, especially teenagers. On the other hand some people may think of advertising as a tricky way for selling things. It can be a little bit unfair because overall companies need a way for introducing their things. But what happened that some people think that advertising is turning into a trite formula and people no longer pay attention to it? Well, it can be some companies' fault that hurt people's trust with untruthful advertisements. But we can not deny that there are still good and honest companies that keep their customers and users satisfied with trustworthy advertising. In my opinion, advertising is here to stay. In the old days it was simple and primitive like sellers and vendors who tried to convince people to buy things. Then it became a little bit modern as TV and radio emerged. And nowadays we are surrounded by advertisements. For sure there are lots of advertisements we skip but at least one of them finally draws our attention. Besides I think it can be dependent on the person's personality too. Some people are very impressionable and some are hard to attract. And also a large body of research show that advertisements can affect our minds automatically. Without we even really notice. So I think advertisements can make big companies even bigger, providing that they would be fair and truthful. Briefly advertisement is going to remain a powerful way of trade for ages.
Advertising has been always a great way for brands and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to introduce their products and increase their
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
sale and
they have been using
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
creative ways to encourage more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
like
tempting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by buying their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and entering a raffle
as well
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
or
inviting celebrities to advertise something for their brand. There is no doubt that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those colorful, musical, glorious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
sound
really
tempting and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
tank deserves a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
reward.

Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
look at advertising as a strong tool for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and by development of technology, advertising has
been extended
too.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
we do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in TV or hear them in radio,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems that they are everywhere in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Big
billboards around the city, in your
Nowadays it’s more common to write this as one word.
smart phone
, in your social accounts and your favorite bloggers' pages. Even in your favorite movies and series.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
can't we conclude that advertising is
still
successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for businesses to invest in?
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Otherwise
they wouldn't spend their money somewhere else?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
still
working out and have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
effects on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
.

On the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
of advertising as a tricky way for selling things. It can be a
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
unfair
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need a way for introducing their things.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what happened that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising is turning into a trite formula and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
no longer pay attention to it? Well, it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' fault that hurt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's trust with untruthful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we can not deny that there are
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and honest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their customers and users satisfied with trustworthy advertising.

In my opinion, advertising is here to stay. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days it was simple and primitive like sellers and vendors who tried to convince
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things.

Then it became a
Reduce redundancy by using “little” or “bit”.
little bit
modern as TV and radio emerged. And nowadays we
are surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
. For sure there are lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
we skip
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at least one of them
finally
draws our attention.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
it can be dependent on the person's personality too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
impressionable and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to attract. And
also
a large body of research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can affect our minds
automatically
. Without we even
really
notice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
even bigger, providing that they would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
and truthful.

Briefly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is going to remain a powerful way of trade for ages.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
430 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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