Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. 9enX
It is true that advertising is becoming increasingly widespread in many part of the world. While some people tend towards the viewpoint that it is a strong way to divert people for purchasing their product, I would have to support the idea that nowadays this marketing is available everywhere so that individuals do not care about the advertisement. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that advertisements contribute the vital position to convince us to purchase their companies items. One of the main reasons can be that when a company demonstrates their company's products advertisement via a popular celebrity who is saying that the product is sustainable, many people trust the advertise without judging the item because of their favourite celebrity. This means that the purchasers are forced to buy the product via the advertisement. Another factor might be that most of the advertising are aimed at children to buy things. Provided that a child sees toy's advertisement on TV screen, he will cry to take that toy which may result into the fact that the parents of that child were forced to buy this toy. Considering the fact that these types of marketing policies have become successful for selling their item. On the other hand, I agree with the point that in these days, people are more conscious about purchasing their products which are needed for them. firstly, I believe that people do not have any interest on advertising because they are bored to see advertisement. After watching advertisement of a specific item, an individual becomes exhausted which may result in the fact that the product of that advertising will not be sold. Secondly, I feel that the seller does not ensure the quality of a product which is presented the best product on advertising. To be more precise, once the product is bought, people can judge the quality of that product. As a result, people will think many times before purchasing a item from watching the advertisement. In conclusion, although advertising is playing significant role with buyers to purchase a product, I support the idea that the marketing policies no longer be acceptable for people to buy things.
It is true that advertising is becoming
increasingly
widespread in
Possible agreement error. The noun part seems to be countable; consider using: "many parts".
many part
of the world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend towards the viewpoint that it is a strong way to divert
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for purchasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, I would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that nowadays this marketing is available everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that individuals do not care about the advertisement.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
arguments that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
contribute the vital position to convince us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
. One of the main reasons can be that when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
demonstrates their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
via a popular celebrity who is saying that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is sustainable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust the
The word 'advertise' is a verb. Did you mean the noun "advertisement"?
advertise
without judging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
celebrity. This means that the purchasers
are forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
via the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. Another factor might be that most of the advertising
are aimed
at children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things. Provided that a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sees
toy's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
on TV screen, he will cry to take that toy which may result into the fact that the parents of that child
were forced
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
this toy. Considering the fact that these types of marketing policies have become successful for selling their item.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the point that in these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more conscious about purchasing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
are needed
for them.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have any interest on advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are bored
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
. After watching
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
, an individual becomes exhausted which may result in the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of that advertising will not
be sold
.
Secondly
, I feel that the seller does not ensure the quality of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
which
is presented
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on advertising. To be more precise, once the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can judge the quality of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
times
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
item
from watching the advertisement.

In conclusion
, although advertising is playing significant role with buyers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that the marketing policies no longer be acceptable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts