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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? xA5g
It is obvious that some people, especially those who do not enjoy shopping a lot, think that advertisements and commercials affect people negatively because they make people buy everything even unnecessary ones. On the other hand, some people find advertisements useful because they think that thanks to these commercials, they can discover plenty of products which can help them make their lives better. In fact, I have a similar opinion with the second group. As a matter of fact, commercials may be quite useful for us because everybody cannot follow the latest products all the time, and they can be informed by advertisements about a product they may need. For instance, old people who are bad at technology and cannot adopt the new world may be unaware of the goods even they need. Thus, we sometimes need commercials to follow the recent products. I totally disagree with the opinion that commercials make negative effect on our lives. If a person achieved to be strong-willed and balanced in his/her life, they can make decisions about necessities and their wants, so commercials never affect them. Once they see a product and they decide whether they need it or not. To sum up, even though there are some commercials trying to attract our attention unduly, most of them can be beneficial since new products emerge as the technology improves and most of the time these make our lives easier most of the time. We cannot always keep up with all of them by ourselves, therefore we need to be informed by advertisements to catch up with them.
It is obvious that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
those who do not enjoy shopping a lot,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
and commercials affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
negatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything even unnecessary ones.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that thanks to these commercials, they can discover
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
better. In fact, I have a similar opinion with the second group.

As a matter of fact, commercials may be quite useful for us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everybody cannot follow the latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all the time, and they can
be informed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
they may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
at technology and cannot adopt the new world may be unaware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
even they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
Thus
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
commercials to follow the recent products.

I
totally
disagree with the opinion that commercials
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. If a person achieved to be strong-willed and balanced in his/her life, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
decisions about necessities and their wants,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
commercials never affect them. Once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
product and
they decide whether they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
it or not.

To sum up,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
commercials trying to attract our attention
unduly
, most of them can be beneficial since new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
emerge as the technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
and most of the time these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier most of the time. We cannot always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with all of them by ourselves,
therefore
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
be informed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
to catch up with them.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tells us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.