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Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation? kDMO
In recent years due to the rapid development of different technologies, a lot of people can fulfill their tasks from home without losing a lot of time to get to work. It became available due to variety and affordability of applications on the software market. Despite all of the benefits it also has its drawbacks. On one hand, working from home can cause use a huge amount of concentration. Since there are a lot of distracting matters, such as searching through the internet or making some coffee with snacks, or simply a crying child behind the wall. That is why they have to put all of this aside to make it achievable to fulfill their duties. Hence employees have to go to their working place to do work more efficiently and not be disturbed or distracted every ten minutes. On the other hand, nowadays it’s possible to reach a colleague in a matter of seconds even if they are on the other side of the globe. All that needs it’s easy as pie to install on the computer and save some time by avoiding transport. Unless it’s not possible to achieve the necessary result without requiring tools. There is no need to be present at the company five days a week and 10 hours per day. Eventually, home-office is an enormous benefit for young families especially with more than one child and no other family members to provide the help. To sum up, working from home has some advantages and disadvantages. The ability to operate from home gains some benefits to working person, but at the same time requires a great deal of self-control in order to keep not only high efficiency but the job itself.
In recent years due to the rapid development of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
technologies,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can fulfill their tasks from home without losing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to work. It became available due to variety and affordability of applications on the software market. Despite
Consider using "all the".
all of the
benefits it
also
has its drawbacks.

On one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home can cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a huge amount of concentration. Since there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
distracting matters, such as searching through the internet or making
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
coffee with snacks, or
simply
a crying child behind the wall.
That is
why they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
put all of this aside to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it achievable to fulfill their duties.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
employees
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
place to do work more
efficiently
and not
be disturbed
or distracted every ten minutes.

On the other hand
, nowadays it’s possible to reach a colleague in a matter of seconds even if they are on the other side of the globe. All that needs
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (short form of 'it is')?
it’s
easy as pie to install on the computer and save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time by avoiding transport.
“Unless” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Unless
it’s not possible to achieve the necessary result without requiring tools. There is no need to be present at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
five days a week and 10 hours per day.
Eventually
, home-office is an enormous benefit for young families
especially
with more than one child and no other family members to provide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
from home has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages and disadvantages. The ability to operate from home gains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
person,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time requires a great deal of self-control in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
high efficiency
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the job itself.
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IELTS essay Modern technology, such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home at least part of the time instead of going to an office every day. What are some of the advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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