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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 2OEj
There are many debates these days about advertisements if they are persuasive and useful or not. Some people believe that thanks to them we can enhance our lives and purchase recent goods. I agree with the statement for several reasons that I will explain in my essay. Firstly, thanks to the rapid development of globalisation and the internet, marketing tools have developed dramatically. For example, while consumers are surfing on the internet they generally see pop-up ads and these ads are mostly specialised according to their social network, search history or interests. It is really hard to encounter dull and irritating ads on websites. Even though they are repetitive, they usually attract people and convenience them to click flyers or pop-up ads. Therefore, customers Secondly, some people do not have enough time to search on new or innovative products or services. Thanks to the advertisements such as commercials, pop-ups or billboards they learn about these items and services. It is essential, because they might be useful for people to improve their life standards and have better lives. For example, I was looking for a smart lamp that I can adjust the color of light and brightness; however, a month ago I encountered Xiaomi’s smart lamp on Youtube’s advertisement and I purchased it. To sum up, as it can be seen from the above examples there are many reasons to agree with the idea. Today’s advertisements are extremely persuasive and useful for consumers and they help us to improve ourselves. I hope that in the future this will alter gets better than now.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
debates these days about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
if they are persuasive and useful or not.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that thanks to them we can enhance our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
recent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement for several reasons that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in my essay.

Firstly
, thanks to the rapid development of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
and the internet, marketing tools have developed
dramatically
.
For example
, while consumers are surfing on the internet they
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
pop-up ads and these ads are
mostly
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialised' is British English.
specialised
according to their social network, search history or interests. It is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to encounter dull and irritating ads on websites.
Even though
they are repetitive, they
usually
attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and convenience them to click flyers or pop-up ads.
Therefore
, customers

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to search on new or innovative products or services. Thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
such as commercials, pop-ups or billboards they learn about these items and services. It is essential,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they might be useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their life standards and have better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
For example
, I was looking for a smart lamp that I can adjust the color of light and brightness;
however
, a month ago I encountered Xiaomi’s smart lamp on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
it.

To sum up, as it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
from the above examples there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
extremely
persuasive and useful for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
consumers and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
ourselves. I hope that in the future this will alter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things we don't really need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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