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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

These days advertising have been more knowgable than before. So, some people think that advertising encourage us to buy things that we do not need, while others believe that advertisements tell us about new product. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion. In one hand, some people think avertising can lead us to buy products that we have no use. This is because the advertisements can be somtime more attractive than the product it self that decevit people to think that they need to purchase the product. For example, airpod have been adverised a lot althogh it is not an essential product to have. So, thats why some think that advertising can lead us to buy a product that we actually do not need. On the other hand, people say that advertisements tell us about new product that maybe beneficial to our lives. One reason for this is that advertising is a very important when it comes to marketing a product and let people know how to choose to buy something actually useful for them. To illustrate, the advertisement of Apple watch helped me know many feature that I needed in the watch. Hence the belief that adverisements is useful to us. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both point of views, I believe that Advertisements can be helpful in some product and let us know how useful the product, which allows people to decide weather they want to buy it or not.
These days advertising have been more
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knowgable
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that advertising encourage us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things that we do not need, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my personal conclusion.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Possible spelling mistake found.
avertising
can lead us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that we have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
can be
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somtime
more attractive than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
Did you mean “itself”?
it self
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
decevit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that they need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
airpod
have been
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adverised
a lot
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althogh
it is not an essential
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product
to have.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
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thats
why
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some
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think
that advertising can lead us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that we actually do not need.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that maybe beneficial to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. One reason for this is that advertising is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to marketing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know how to choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
something actually useful for them. To illustrate, the
The usual collocation for “advertisement” is “for”, not “of”. Did you mean “advertisement for”?
advertisement of
Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me know
Possible agreement error. The noun feature seems to be countable; consider using: “many features”.
many feature
that I needed in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that
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adverisements
is useful to us.

In conclusion
, after a careful analysis of both point of views, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisements
can be helpful in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us know how useful the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decide weather they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it or not.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
249 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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