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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? gPb3
Generally, people believe that publicity gives us the courage to purchase things we are not in need of, while others think that publicity gives a broader view about new products that may be of high signigicant to our lives. I strongly agree with both views as publicity gives us the courage to purchase items we don't need and also a information on items that are beneficial to us. This essay will give an in-sight to the points. Advertisement gives us the courage to purchase things that are not essential. For example, I saw a smart watch on aliexpress earlier this week which has almost all the features and applications an android phone has. This really got my attention and without further exitation, i purchased the smart watch online. Thinking about it few hours later, i honestly do not see the need for the smart watch. Furthermore, publicity of products are everywhere we can imagine like in the newspaper, social media, different websites, television and on the radio. A friend once said, we humans are mostly driven by what we hear which leads us to make that immediate decision occasionally. Although, some promotions of product and services totally discourages some people from purchasing it due to errors or wrong information released. Publicity give an in-sight of new products that are beneficial to our lives. For instance, some products like the advanced portable blood pressure machine newly produced is not easily accesible in our physical stores. This is because it is still on high demand and its to be pre ordered for if needed urgently. This gives people the doubt of purchasing such product blindly as there is no complete assurance to the specifications with just words of mouth. But with the new advertisement released on the benefits of this product, there is a broader knowledge of the importance of the product. In my opinion, i strongly agree that people are driven to purchase some irrelivant items and also an in-depth knowledge is given on the benefits of some products that are beneficial to our lives. This can mostly be achieved through publicity. In conclusion, publicity does not only encourages us to purchase irrelevant items, it also gives a broader view of how important some products are to our lives.
Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publicity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us the courage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
things we are not in need of, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publicity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a broader view about new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that may be of high
Possible spelling mistake found.
signigicant
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both views as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publicity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us the courage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
we don't need and
also
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
information on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
that are beneficial to us. This essay will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
an in-sight to the points.

Advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
us the courage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
things that are not essential.
For example
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
a smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
aliexpress
earlier this week which has almost all the features and applications an android phone has. This
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my attention and without
further
Possible spelling mistake found.
exitation
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
the smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
online. Thinking about it few hours later,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
honestly
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the need for the smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publicity
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are everywhere we can imagine like in the newspaper, social media,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
websites, television and on the radio. A friend once said, we humans are
mostly
driven by what we hear which leads us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that immediate decision
occasionally
. Although,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
promotions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and services
totally
discourages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from purchasing it due to errors or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
information released.

Publicity
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "gives".
give
an in-sight of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are beneficial to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like the advanced portable blood pressure machine
newly
produced is not
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
accesible
in our physical stores. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
still
on high demand and its to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre
ordered for if needed
urgently
.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the doubt of purchasing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
blindly
as there is no complete assurance to the specifications with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
words of mouth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with the new advertisement released on the benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, there is a broader knowledge of the importance of the product.

In my opinion,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are driven
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
irrelivant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
and
also
an in-depth knowledge is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
on the benefits of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are beneficial to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. This can
mostly
be achieved
through publicity.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
publicity
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "encourage"
encourages
us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
irrelevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
a broader view of how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
378 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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