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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? GV9B
In my personal opinion, I would agree that advertisements are important for our product knowledge. Advertising enhances our skills to compare the options available and select the best possible products and services for us. It also helps us to remain updated with the new technologies and gadgets available in the market. However, I would not differ from the statement that advertising does encourages us to buy things that we don't really need. Inspite, we have to understand that every coin has 2 sides. It depends upon us how to view those adverts. We can only view them as skills enhancement or as a medium of spending an extra penny. We should only spend based onto our spending capacities. I personally follow 60-30-10 rules for my finance management, wherein, 60% covers my monthly bills, rent, loans, groceries, shopping and 30% directly goes into my savings and investments. Pending 10% will be saved but in form of emergency funds. I would like to share my personal experience I encountered at my workplace in past. We had tied up with local brand for all our pantry needs since past few years. Every year the contract used to get renewed on the same terms. Since we didn't have the knowledge of other products, our company was spending a huge amount on this. However, we soon realized the based on a advertisement that other products in the market is much cheaper than what we were opting for. It really helped us to change the profit figures for our company. So in conclusion, I would strongly recommend to keep your views open regarding the advertisements and promotions. Thank you.
In my personal opinion, I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that advertisements are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
knowledge. Advertising enhances our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to compare the options available and select the best possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and services for us. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to remain updated with the new technologies and gadgets available in the market.

However
, I would not differ from the statement that advertising does encourages us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
things that we don't
really
need.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Inspite
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
understand that every coin has 2 sides. It depends upon us how to view those adverts. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
view them as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
enhancement or as a medium of spending an extra penny. We should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
spend based onto our spending capacities. I
personally
follow 60-30-10
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
for my finance management, wherein, 60% covers my monthly bills, rent, loans, groceries, shopping and 30%
directly
goes into my savings and investments. Pending 10% will
be saved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in form of emergency funds.

I would like to share my personal experience I encountered at my workplace
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. We had tied up with local brand for all our pantry needs since past few years. Every year the contract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
renewed on the same terms. Since we didn't have the knowledge of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
was spending a huge amount on this.

However
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realized the based on
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
advertisement that other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the market is much cheaper than what we were opting for. It
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the profit figures for our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in conclusion
, I would
strongly
recommend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
your views open regarding the advertisements and promotions.

Thank you.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.