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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives.Which viewpoint do you agree with?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.You should write at least 254 words.

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? BE0p
Nowadays, Advertisement increases day by day. Some people said that it influences people to buy unnecessary things but others think that it is a good way to know about the new products and their usage which help to improve our lives. I am going to discuss my point of view in upcoming paragraphs. To begin with, Advertisement is encouraging individuals to buy different and unuseful products which are sometimes harmful to the person, And people having some serious issues such as Skin problems, Obesity, Other health issues. For example, Nowadays, There are a number of advertisements for skin treatment than people decide to buy these medicines which have lots of disadvantages, Firstly, These are costly. Secondly, These are not recommended by a specialized doctor, Sometimes these are not suitable for a person and having a skin allergy. Moreover, Food advertisements influence a person to intake fast food which has some health issues. On the other hand, Fashion advertisements increase human fashion sense. With the help of this, People know what is new in the market and they know about the prices, discount on clothes, makeup, shoes, etc. It also makes a person up to date. Furthermore, advertisements are also part of marketing where we know about the sales on houses. In conclusion, According to my point of view advertisements are beneficial if we are buying products according to our needs. So, It depends on individuals what they are going to buy and how much it is beneficial for them. I recommended to people we do not need to buy things which are not useful.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Advertisement
increases day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
said that it influences
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the new products and their usage which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I am going to discuss my point of view in upcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
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Advertisement
is encouraging individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
and unuseful products which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, And
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people
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious issues such as Skin problems, Obesity, Other health issues.
For example
, Nowadays, There are a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
for skin treatment than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these medicines which have lots of disadvantages,
Firstly
, These are costly.
Secondly
, These are not recommended by a specialized doctor,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
these are not suitable for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and having a skin allergy.
Moreover
, Food
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advertisements
influence a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to intake
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
health issues.

On the other hand
, Fashion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
increase human fashion sense. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
what is new in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
market and
they
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know
about the prices, discount on clothes, makeup, shoes, etc. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
up to date.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are
also
part of marketing where we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
about the sales on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

In conclusion
, According to my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are beneficial if we are buying products according to our needs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It depends on individuals what they are going to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
and how much it is beneficial for them. I recommended to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
we do not need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
things which are not useful.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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