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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Living in a fast moving world, we see new changes and new products being introduced to our society. Advertising plays a vital part in the marketing world but also has its advantages and disadvantages. “Not all that glitters are gold” is a fair point to ponder to those consumers who buy products without a necessity. The reason being is because they feel the urge to buy all that they see and this leads to confusion and wastage of money. For this reason I do agree with the fact that advertisements do help us understand our world better. Through advertisements we are open to new products, new equipment, new deals, promotions, etc. People’s lives have become healthier due to the great advertising skills of new excising equipment that have encouraged people to start working out. For example, we were thrilled to purchase the new “Easy Portable” Treadmill early this year. It has made our lives so much easier. In conclusion, as the term goes, “Human wants are infinite! ” consumers need to discern their necessity before purchasing any product as not all that is seen needs to be purchased.
Living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
moving world, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
being introduced
to our society. Advertising plays a vital part in the marketing world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
has its advantages and disadvantages.

“Not all that glitters are gold” is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
point to ponder to those consumers who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without a necessity. The reason being is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel the urge to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
all that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and this leads to confusion and wastage of money.

For this reason
I do
Consider using “agree that”.
agree with the fact that
advertisements do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us understand our world better. Through
The comma is probably missing here: “advertisements, we”.
advertisements we
are open to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
equipment,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
deals, promotions, etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
have become healthier due to the great advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
excising equipment that have encouraged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
working out.
For example
, we
were thrilled
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
“Easy Portable” Treadmill early this year. It has made our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much easier.

In conclusion
, as the term goes, “Human wants are infinite! ” consumers need to discern their necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
purchasing any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
as not all
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
needs to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
188 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.