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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with? 1wW7
It is believed by some people that advertisement compels us to spend on products not needed. Owing to other people, however, advertisements show us the items for our betterment. I agree with the former opinion, and consider that the highly budgeted marketing strategies of companies compel people to buy unnecessary things. On the one hand, it is the successful methodologies of the marketing department that boosted the selling process. Companies sell their products individually, which leaves one with no other option but to buy them and properly advertise and justify the act. For instance, the iPhone 12 was released without a charger so that they can sell it separately and make a profit and people have to buy it if they are new users, but the claim in the advertisement was environmental cleanliness factor. Also, the connectivity and transferability techniques among products of the same factory, such as the Apple Watch and iPad do not let the end-user get the products of another company. Hence, such well-structured and planned advertisement methodologies of rich companies force one to buy. On the other hand, the items are placed in shops in such a way that catches one’s attraction. Because the finishing is so good and placed at the entrance, kids accompanying people demand them to buy. Take the example of chocolates and bubble gums, which are less needy things, are placed with the cashier counter that one places in his cart unintentionally because it appeals to them a lot. Furthermore, the follow-up patterns such as arrows on the ground or carpet colours lead one to the place of expensive items that one never thought of buying while leaving for shopping from home. To sum up, human behaviour is well-studied, and methods are implemented wisely that creates an urge to buy the item. In conclusion, to attract people to sell a product, a need is created that pushes one to buy that without having a second option.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
compels us to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
not needed. Owing to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us the items for our betterment. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion, and consider that the
highly
budgeted marketing strategies of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
compel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things.

On the one hand, it is the successful methodologies of the marketing department that boosted the selling process.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
individually
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
one with no other option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
them and
properly
advertise and justify the act.
For instance
, the iPhone 12
was released
without a charger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can sell it
separately
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a profit and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it if they are new users,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the claim in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
was environmental cleanliness factor.
Also
, the connectivity and transferability techniques among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of the same factory, such as the Apple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Watch
and iPad do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-user
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
Hence
, such well-structured and planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
methodologies of rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
force one to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.

On the other hand
, the items
are placed
in shops in such a way that catches one’s attraction.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the finishing is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and placed at the entrance, kids accompanying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
demand them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
. Take the example of chocolates and bubble gums, which are less needy things,
are placed
with the cashier counter that one places in his cart
unintentionally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it appeals to them a lot.
Furthermore
, the follow-up patterns such as arrows on the ground or carpet
Possible spelling mistake. 'colours' is British English.
colours
lead one to the place of expensive items that one never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of buying while leaving for shopping from home. To sum up, human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is well-studied, and methods
are implemented
wisely
that creates an urge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the item.

In conclusion
, to attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to sell a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, a need
is created
that pushes one to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that without having a second option.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which viewpoint do you agree with?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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