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Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. eYXJ
There is something to be said for that except mainstream lessons, the other subjects, including art, music, theater, etc. should be taught from the beginning. I am partly agreed with this theory. The student not have get to know the non-academic stuffs on their earlier education period. Firstly, they mostly become distracted or affected by their sentimental decisions, while their wisdom has not been formed thoroughly. After their growth, they could make decision to proceed in that issues or not. Secondly, the society’s requirement goes towards the science rather than art, which I myself find it problematic for the future generations. Conversely, the student can recognise their passion in some extents through their family and tutors. Obviously, the ability of children would be put into assessment by the spent time to meet the specific art alike playing a piano. Simultaneously, their diligence and hardworking could be easily taken. Moreover, the art namely music and dancing bring such a briskly, enthusiastic and lively atmosphere to leading the society towards the improvement and seeing averagely a dramatic rise in lifetime. Needless to say the society do request all the professions to have a walk facing other nations. Due to the rapidly moving of the countries straight forward the growth and success, the governments need to invest in all the aspects to overtake the rivals. As concluding remarks, the expenses for non-academic subjects should be served in a moderate way. If it would not taken place it will more likely causes inverse results. Sincerely yours,
There is something to
be said
for that except mainstream lessons, the other subjects, including
art
, music, theater, etc. should
be taught
from the beginning. I am partly
agreed
with this theory.

The student not have
get
to know the non-academic stuffs on their earlier education period.
Firstly
, they
mostly
become distracted or
affected
by their sentimental decisions, while their wisdom has not
been formed
thoroughly
. After their growth, they could
make
decision to proceed in that issues or not.
Secondly
, the society’s requirement goes towards the science
rather
than
art
, which I myself find it problematic for the future generations.

Conversely
, the student can
recognise
their passion in
some
extents through their family and tutors.
Obviously
, the ability of children would
be put
into assessment by the spent time to
meet
the specific
art
alike playing a piano.
Simultaneously
, their diligence and hardworking could be
easily
taken.
Moreover
, the
art
namely
music and dancing bring such a
briskly
, enthusiastic and lively atmosphere to leading the society towards the improvement and seeing
averagely
a dramatic rise in lifetime. Needless to say the society do request all the professions to have a walk facing other nations. Due to the
rapidly
moving of the countries straight forward the growth and success, the
governments
need to invest in all the aspects to overtake the rivals.

As concluding remarks, the expenses for non-academic subjects should
be served
in a moderate way
.
If
it would not taken place it will more likely causes inverse results.

Sincerely
yours,
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IELTS essay Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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