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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. YDy5
We all know the world is witnessing one of the biggest financial crisis. Nowadays, High compensation has become more important than job satisfaction and in a way, I completely agree with this. First and foremost during these pandemic times as the world is seeing its all-time biggest unemployability, money has become a major factor in ones living. Although job satisfaction is important, we go to a job to make money and that’s the number one priority for many because Just job satisfaction cannot pay your bills. Secondly, In India nearly 30 to 40% of fresh engineers are unemployed every year, they neither get a job to get satisfied nor the money for their living, so instead of waiting for a job which gives us satisfaction the wise decision is to do the job which we get and do it with one hundred per cent focus. One should always aim to get a Job which gives huge compensation. Well, this is possible but required high patience. Not every job gives us satisfaction but every penny we make from our job helps us to run our family and to fulfil our dreams which I feel is more important than job satisfaction.
We all know the world is witnessing one of the biggest financial crisis. Nowadays, High compensation has become more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
and in a way, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this.

First
and foremost during these pandemic times as the world is seeing its all-time biggest
Possible spelling mistake found.
unemployability
, money has become a major factor in
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
living. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, we go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money and that’s the number one priority for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
cannot pay your bills.

Secondly
, In India
nearly
30 to 40% of fresh engineers
are unemployed
every year, they neither
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied nor the money for their living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
instead
of waiting for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which gives us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
the wise decision is to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
and do it with one hundred per cent focus.

One should always aim to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Job
which gives huge compensation. Well, this is possible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
required high patience. Not every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
gives us
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
every penny we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
from our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to run our family and to fulfil our dreams which I feel is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
.
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IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
199 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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