Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? WAEe
There is no iota of doubts that, people willing to share their private details on the internet so as to assist in everyday`s communication and personal purposes. Though it has few upsides, I strongly believed, it is a negative development in context to the safety and privacy of an individual. There are umpteen benefits which people enjoy with this signing up concept can not be denied. To begin with, log-in method on social media and banking system ease the process for individuals involved in business as presence of information online enables customers to access details about company without communicating with owners directly which saves a lot of time. Besides, Business profile putting up a confidential details as a requirement of banking process is must to verify the user. Instead of going to the banks to fill out private form, people merely does it on their phones which could either waste a hours while standing in queques. On a contrary to that, there will be a likelihood of encroaching secret information which undeniably a big downside to safety and privacy of a sole. Explaining it further, it is highly acceptable fact that when some share their official detials publicly on social media or on websites, they will likely to be infringed upon their private information by those greed individuals. Moreover the consequences of with stolen data could leave those suffered with empty pockets and lands the latter in troubling situation. To illistrate, In a contemprary era, online booking section got exponential rise whether it is taxi booking or, hotel check-in pre-booking, but in recent times, cyberattacks on certain companies like OLA, OYO Rooms breached their servers for the purpose to stole user data that can be put into usage by hackers to trespass the security loops to get hold on savings of an individual. Thus, sharing secret details online can exploit one`s lifes and left them in solemn situations. To summarise, despite few positives of submitting personal details online, I would like reiterate that its negative developments can halt lifes of individual suffered and could leads to serious results. However, it is obligatory to recognise online risks and act accordingly to avoid data from cybercrimes.
There is no iota of doubts that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
willing to share their private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
on the internet
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
assist in
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
`s communication and personal purposes. Though it has few upsides, I
strongly
believed, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development in context to the safety and privacy of an individual.

There are umpteen benefits which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enjoy with this signing up concept can not
be denied
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, log-in method on social media and banking system
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the process for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
involved in business as presence of information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
enables customers to access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
without communicating with owners
directly
which saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
Besides
, Business profile putting up a confidential
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "detail"?
details
as a requirement of banking process is
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
verify the user.
Instead
of going to the banks to fill out private form,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
merely
does it on their phones which could either waste
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a hour" or simply "hours"?
a hours
while standing in
Possible spelling mistake found.
queques
.

On a contrary to that, there will be a likelihood of encroaching secret information which
undeniably
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
downside to safety and privacy of a sole. Explaining it
further
, it is
highly
acceptable fact that when
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
share their official
Possible spelling mistake found.
detials
publicly
on social media or on websites, they will likely to
be infringed
upon their private information by those greed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the consequences of with stolen data could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
those suffered with empty pockets and lands the latter in troubling situation. To
Possible spelling mistake found.
illistrate
, In a
Possible spelling mistake found.
contemprary
era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
booking section
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
exponential rise whether it is taxi booking or, hotel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
-in pre-booking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in recent times, cyberattacks on certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like OLA,
Possible spelling mistake found.
OYO
Rooms breached their servers for the purpose to stole user data that can
be put
into usage by hackers to trespass the security loops to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hold on savings of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
.
Thus
, sharing secret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
can exploit
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
them in solemn situations.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, despite few positives of submitting personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
details
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
, I would like reiterate that its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments can halt
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "lives", the plural form of the noun 'life'?
lifes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
suffered and could
The verb 'could' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to serious results.
However
, it is obligatory to
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
and act
accordingly
to avoid data from
Possible spelling mistake found.
cybercrimes
.

IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?