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Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past. qbkE
These days drawing heavy income is considered to be vital than having an enjoyable job. And I, completely agree with this statement. There could be various reasons why monetary benefit is of greater importance when compared to an appealing job. One of my major reasons is for giving a good life to my child. We live in a metropolitan city like Bangalore where the cost of living is over-the-top and to afford a basic living one needs to be economically stable than having a satisfying job. I believe that with a good income I will be able to provide good education, healthy lifestyle and a great exposure to my child which will in turn make her a competitive person in this growing world. Second important reason is my family. As I’m basically from a lower middle class family it had always been a dream to me and my family to enjoy a house of our own. These days with the increasing population, the real estate values have gone sky-high and it is merely impossible for a financially unstable person possessing a house. If I can make more income in a shorter period of time it makes me achieve our dream of buying a home way quicker and that would give me more fulfilment than a satisfying job could give. So considering the above mentioned reasons in my opinion I would strongly prioritize higher income than job satisfaction.
These days drawing heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is considered
to be
Use "(vital)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
vital
than having an enjoyable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. And I, completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

There could be various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why monetary benefit is of greater importance when compared to an appealing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. One of my major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
is for giving a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
life to my child. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a metropolitan city like Bangalore where the cost of living is over-the-top and to afford a basic living one needs to be
economically
Use "stabler" to make a comparison with this adjective.
stable
than having a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I believe that with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
I will be able to provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education, healthy lifestyle and a great exposure to my child which will in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
her a competitive person in this growing world.

Second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is my family. As I’m
basically
from a lower middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family it had always been a dream to me and my family to enjoy a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. These days with the increasing population, the real estate values have gone sky-high and it is
merely
impossible for a
financially
unstable person possessing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. If I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
in a shorter period of time it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me achieve our dream of buying a home way quicker and that would give me more
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
than a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
could give.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
considering the above mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
in my opinion I would
strongly
prioritize higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction.

IELTS essay Some people say now there is less communication between family members than in the past.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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