Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money

Some people say main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money kYRd2
We very often come across people who argue about the significance of making money. Some believe that earning a good amount of money is essential for happiness, yet others refute the notion and claim that people can be contented with many other things. Analysing the rational explanations given by both groups might help to assume a conclusion. Many believe that money is the prime component of happiness because it can fix problems and can help to lead a luxury life. They argue that a wad of cash helps to solve issues in life that spell doom for a peaceful life. Take the high cost of cancer treatment for example. The monthly medicine costs may reach one hundred thousand dollars, which is more than four times the annual salary of a blue-collar worker. This seems that only an affluent individual can afford the treatment. Likewise, they go on claiming that earning a fortune is of considerable importance because it makes us feel valued. And feeling esteemed is arguably the single most essential requisite for comfort. However, some people think that several other things can bring happiness too. They say that the most prominent one is the practice of gratitude. According to them, our lives are governed by the “haves” versus the “have-nots” and when people become grateful for the things they have, it increases their happiness quotient. Science also provides evidence in favour of the notion. Neuroscience has revealed that the act of being grateful releases dopamine and serotonin in our brain that activate the happiness centre of our brain. Likewise, they go on claiming that serving the needs of other arguably makes people feel fulfilled. To conclude, in light of both perspectives, I must admit that money is important, but there are many other ways to be happy. I would end by quoting Chinese adage “if you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune, if you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.
We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who argue about the significance of making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
believe that earning a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
,
yet
others refute the notion and claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
be contented
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the rational explanations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by both groups might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to assume a conclusion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the prime component of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
problems and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to lead a luxury life. They argue that a wad of cash
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to solve issues in life that spell doom for a peaceful life. Take the high cost of cancer treatment
for example
. The monthly medicine costs may reach one hundred thousand dollars, which is more than four times the annual salary of a blue-collar worker. This seems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an affluent individual can afford the treatment.
Likewise
, they go on claiming that earning a fortune is of considerable importance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us feel valued. And feeling esteemed is
arguably
the single most essential requisite for comfort.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things can bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
too. They say that the most prominent one is the practice of gratitude. According to them, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are governed
by the “haves” versus the “
Possible spelling mistake found.
have-nots
” and when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become grateful for the things they have, it increases their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
quotient. Science
also
provides evidence in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the notion. Neuroscience has revealed that the act of being grateful releases dopamine and serotonin in our brain that activate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
of our brain.
Likewise
, they go on claiming that serving the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
arguably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel fulfilled.

To conclude
, in light of both perspectives, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to be happy. I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
by quoting Chinese adage “if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for an hour, take a nap. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for a day, go fishing. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for a year, inherit a fortune, if you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
happiness
for a lifetime,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
somebody.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people say main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people say main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money