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Some people say it is important to do something creative activities in their free time, however other people disagree. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Some people say it is important to do something creative activities in their free time, however other people disagree. nEwon

It is true that many group of people consider that people create something new when they have time is significant ideas but the other group of people believe it is not necessary. This essay will discuss a topic of how people spend their leisure time to do something. First of all, people should spend their free time on learning and doing new activities such as study language because if they obtain other language they will get high salary in their jobs. However, some people cannot afford this expenses. On the other hand, other people think it is not important for gain others. These people might like to spend time their same activities by doing this, they can get more expert than before. Therefore, these people can save a mount of money for some other necessary expenses. For example, some people have their own hobbies like doing exercise, so they can train other in the correct ways. It seem to me that some people like to learn something new. They tend to have a good quality in their work. In conclusion, in my opinion, I commonly agree with these people who think they should gain some creative activities when they have plenty of time as it is an advantages for career and life.

It is true that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 group of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 consider that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 create something new when they have You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 is significant This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtsconceptsnotions
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 group of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 believe it is not necessary. This essay will discuss a topic of how You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 spend their leisure You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 to do something.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 should spend their free You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 on learning and doing new activities such as study language This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 if they obtain You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 language they will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 high salary in their jobs. However
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 cannot afford this expenses.

On the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 hand, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 it is not This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 for gain others. These You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 might like to spend You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 their same activities by doing this, they can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 more expert than This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
.

Therefore
, these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 can save a mount of money for This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 necessary expenses. For example
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 have their This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
own
 hobbies like doing exercise, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 they can train You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 in the correct ways.

It Did you mean "seems"?seems
seem
 to me that This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 like to learn something new. They tend to have a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 quality in their work.

In conclusion
, in my opinion, I commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 who This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonassumebelieveconsider
think
 they should gain This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 creative activities when they have This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:abundance
plenty
 of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpointgenerationpastsecondturnspace
time
 as it is Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an advantage" or simply "advantages"?an advantageadvantages
an advantages
 for career and life. 