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The Rate Of Divorce Has Increased Dramatically

The Rate Of Divorce Has Increased Dramatically PEYd2
Over the past few years, the divorce rate has increased at an alarming rate. Stress, breakdown of joint families and power struggle are the major causes of this situation. Although, these issues have led to a rise in the divorce rate, there are ways to resolve the problem. Firstly, stress in the workplace is the biggest cause of divorce. Nowadays, jobs are very demanding, and people spend long hours at the workplace compared to the past. This means that they spend less time at home with their families; hence, there is no room for affection and this eventually leads to break-up. Another factor contributing to the rise in separation is the notion of superiority amongst couples. Earlier, people were humble to each other and men were the sole breadwinners in the household. On the other hand, today both are independent and dominating and thus pay less heed to their partner’s advice which impacts the foundation of marriage. A recent article / report published by the Times of India stated an increase in the divorce rates by 30% in the year 2019 amongst the youth due to irreconcilable differences and ego clashes.  ortunately, there are ways to solve this problem. People should focus on work life balance at the workplace by taking up less demanding jobs. Also, they should respect their partner’s view point and should opt for healthy discussions instead of the arguments. In conclusion, there are many circumstances that lead to stress and problems in marriage. However, if people choose to lead a balanced life and are more tolerant of each other, it can result in a better and strong marital bond.
Over the past few years, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
has increased at an alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Stress
, breakdown of joint families and power struggle are the major causes of this situation. Although, these issues have led to a rise in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
, there are ways to resolve the problem.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the workplace is the biggest cause of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
. Nowadays, jobs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
demanding, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend long hours at the workplace compared to the past. This means that they spend less time at home with their families;
hence
, there is no room for affection and this
eventually
leads to break-up.

Another factor contributing to the rise in separation is the notion of superiority amongst couples. Earlier,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were humble to each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
were the sole breadwinners in the household.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
both are independent and dominating and
thus
pay less heed to their partner’s advice which impacts the foundation of marriage. A recent article / report published by
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
stated an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
divorce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
by 30% in the year 2019 amongst the youth due to irreconcilable differences and ego clashes.  
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ortunately
, there are ways to solve this problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should focus on
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance at the workplace by taking up less demanding jobs.
Also
, they should respect their partner’s view point and should opt for healthy discussions
instead
of the arguments.
In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
circumstances that lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and problems in marriage.
However
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to lead a balanced life and are more tolerant of each other, it can result in a better and strong marital bond.
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IELTS essay The Rate Of Divorce Has Increased Dramatically

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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