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Some people say advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things.other say it common and many of them did not give attention to it.discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other say it common and many of them did not give attention to it. kxm0O
Nowadays, number of people buy the products by viewing the offers on various apps such as Amazon, flipkart, Myntra, etc. Few persons say advertisements attracts them to buy the stuff, while others say that these are waste of time and they do not give much attention to it. In these essay I will discuss both these view and support my opinion with suitable example. First and foremost, you wil see numerous banners, posters all over the globe in front of railway stations, colleges or schools. Mostly, in trains stickers of shops, apartments is shown show that people can see and contact of keen in buying it. For instance, on campus entrance there are various tutorials promoting there classes by sticking huge banners. These type of things attractive number of people and avail the benefits of it. On the other hand, while surfing internet number of apps shows unwanted advertisements so that the individuals respond towards it. For instance, if you are searching something thing unnecessary adds pop-up in between, many promoters add their instance add while watching videos on youtube. To avoid these number of people did not give much importance to it and keep on going what they are doing. Finally, advertisements are useful for those who are enthusiastic in buying the things. However, displaying number of banners, posters, promoting movies everywhere is unnecessary. Personally, I think most important offers and deals should only be display.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products by viewing the offers on various apps such as Amazon,
Possible spelling mistake found.
flipkart
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Myntra
, etc. Few persons say advertisements attracts them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the stuff, while others say that these are waste of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time and
they do not give much attention to it. In these essay I will discuss both these view and support my opinion with suitable example.
First
and foremost, you
Possible spelling mistake found.
wil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
numerous banners, posters all over the globe in front of railway stations, colleges or schools.
Mostly
, in trains stickers of shops, apartments
is shown
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and contact of keen in buying it.
For instance
, on campus entrance there are various tutorials promoting there classes by sticking huge banners. These type of things attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and avail the benefits of it.
On the other hand
, while surfing internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of apps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
unwanted advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the individuals respond towards it.
For instance
, if you are searching something thing unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
pop-up in between,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
promoters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
their instance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
while watching videos on
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
. To avoid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not give much importance to it and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on going what they are doing.
Finally
, advertisements are useful for those who are enthusiastic in buying the things.
However
, displaying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of banners, posters, promoting movies everywhere is unnecessary.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
offers and deals should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be display.
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IELTS essay Some people say advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. other say it common and many of them did not give attention to it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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