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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

There are several benefits for people living in the metropolitan areas. To begin with, urban dwelers have quite a few opportunities to earn lucrative incomes. The reason is that numerous of employments are created in order to meet the massive economy development nowadays, which means city citizens easily seek the variety of different kind of jobs. Secondly, it is easy for people living in a big city to approach top-notch services and great health care systems. if they live in the rural areas, they would not be able to assessing modernity equipment and infrastructure. These benefits not only meet their daily needs but also allow them to enjoy lives.
There are several benefits for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in the metropolitan areas. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, urban
Possible spelling mistake found.
dwelers
have quite a few opportunities to earn lucrative incomes. The reason is that numerous of employments
are created
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the massive economy development nowadays, which means city citizens
easily
seek the variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of jobs.
Secondly
, it is easy for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city to approach top-notch services and great health care systems.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
if
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the rural areas, they would not be able to assessing modernity equipment and infrastructure. These benefits not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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