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Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that video games are not only a funny game but also a useful educational tool, while other people hold the belief that video games will harm the people playing them. This essay attempts to discuss both views before coming to a reasoned conclusion. On the one hand, video games have a bad effect on people who play them. First of all, some games may affect the behaviour or the characteristics of the child. There are more and more violent games being produced and children who are not able to recognise them. When they play a lot of violent games, it may have an adverse effect on their growth. In addition, playing video games too much may lead to some bad effects for our physical health. If we sit in one place to play video games for a long time, our eyes will easily short-sighted or we also have backache. People who play games so much they will easily experience depression because they do not communicate with other people. On the other hand, video games have a wide range of benefits if we use it in the right way. Firstly, people can learn a lot of grammar or vocabulary of foreign languages which they are interested in. Some video games are produced by some foreign engineers so that people can choose the language which they want to improve their skills or their vocabularies. Secondly, some video games are produced to meet our educational needs. In the market, there are a wide range of video games which educate children such as educating them to recognise colour and how to use colour to decorate the room or some cooking games can educate a child to cook some easy foods. In conclusion, video games have a lot of merits and shortcomings. To my point of view, the disadvantages of video games may be weighed by the advantages if we can manage time to play games. And parents should know what kind of games their children are playing so that they can prevent children if they play some violent games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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video
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games
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
game
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a useful educational tool, while other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hold the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will harm the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
playing them. This essay attempts to discuss both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a reasoned conclusion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on
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people
who
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play
them.
Often, this adverbial phrase is redundant. Consider using “first”.
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may affect the
Possible spelling mistake. ‘behaviour’ is British English.
behaviour
or the characteristics of the child. There are more and more violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
being produced
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are not able to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘recognise’ is British English.
recognise
them. When they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, it may have an adverse effect on their growth.
In addition
, playing
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
too much may lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects for our physical health. If we sit in one place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for a long time, our eyes will
easily
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
short-sighted or
we
also
have backache.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much they will
easily
experience depression
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not communicate with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have a wide range of benefits if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in the right way.
Firstly
,
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people
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
grammar or vocabulary of foreign languages which they
are interested
in.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are produced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
foreign engineers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can choose the language which they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or their vocabularies.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are produced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
our educational needs. In the market, there are a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as educating them to
Possible spelling mistake. ‘recognise’ is British English.
recognise
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colour’ is British English.
colour
and how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake. ‘colour’ is British English.
colour
to decorate the room or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can educate a child to cook
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
easy foods.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
merits and shortcomings. To my point of view, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
may
be weighed
by the advantages if we can manage time to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. And parents should know what kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
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IELTS essay Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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