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some people prefer to see live events, but others think it is better to watch the events on television.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people prefer to see live events, but others think it is better to watch the events on television. kYwjN
Some people prefer to watch live performances from their home on TV or online, others prefer to be present at the event and experience it directly. While there are some benefits to watch events on smart devices, I would argue that it is more enjoyable to see live performances. The option to watching the events on television is attractive for several reasons. Firstly, watching the events on television at home is more convenient and comfortable because it saves our time and money. We don’t need to go to the event’s location and we only need to pay for the electric fee so that we can save a lot of time and extra expenses. Secondly, some people might find it difficult and uncomfortable to fully enjoy the performance if they are afraid of being in a noisy environment or crowded places. In addition, the seating arrangement can also affect the comfort of seeing the whole show if the seats are far from the stage. On the other hand, I strongly believe that it is more interesting to attend live performances due to some reasons. Firstly, some people are passionate to see their favorite celebrity closely to take their pictures and support their favorite stars by cheering, shouting, or clapping to boost their confidence for excellent performances. Therefore, some audiences are always curious to see live events. Secondly, if we watch live performances, we will be able to enjoy them in a fuller and more exciting way because of the enthusiastic atmosphere which evokes excitement and amusement that attendees could not experience if watching at home. Frankly, I find it hard to have the same emotion and experience if watching at home. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that attending live performances is more enjoyable than watching them online.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
from their home on TV or online, others prefer to be present at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event
and experience it

directly
. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on smart devices, I would argue that it is more enjoyable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
performances.

The option to watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on television is attractive for several reasons.
Firstly
, watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
on television at home is more convenient and comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it saves our time and money. We don’t need to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
event’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
location and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
need to pay for the electric fee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time and extra expenses.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might find it difficult and uncomfortable to
fully
enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
if they are afraid of being in a noisy environment or crowded places.
In addition
, the seating arrangement can
also
affect the comfort of seeing the whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
if the seats are far from the stage.

On the other hand
, I
strongly
believe that it is more interesting to attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are passionate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their favorite celebrity
closely
to take their pictures and support their favorite stars by cheering, shouting, or clapping to boost their confidence for excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
audiences are always curious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
events
.
Secondly
, if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
, we will be able to enjoy them in a fuller and more exciting way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the enthusiastic atmosphere which evokes excitement and amusement that attendees could not experience if watching at home.
Frankly
, I find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have the same emotion and experience if watching at home.

For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
is more enjoyable than watching them online.
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IELTS essay some people prefer to see live events, but others think it is better to watch the events on television.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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