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Some people prefer to buy local products while others product international products. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people prefer to buy local products while others product international products. P1P2
There are few masses who like to purchase domestic items while, others prefer to buy international products. I agree with the first statement to a large extent and i shall discuss several reasons regarding this statement in the upcoming paragraphs before reaching a reasonable conclusion. To begin with, there are plethora of reasons why most of people give more priority to local products. Firstly, international products are too expensive because of extra cost such as taxes. So there are large number of people who are not able to purchase it and they prefer to use local items. Secondly, people from their own nation wants to boost their economy. For this purpose, they purchase their local products by giving money. In this money, tax is also included which is used by government for the welfare of society and it directly leads to develop their economy. Because all of this, few people prefer to buy local products. On the other hand, some masses give more preference to international products due to good quality. People who belongs to rich family are able to purchase costly products. Thats why, there are few who like to use international items. In conclusion, no doubt the quality of international items is very good, however, the price of local products is very reasonable which is easy to afford for that people who do not able to buy international products.
There are few masses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
domestic items while, others prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
first
statement to a large extent and
Did you mean "I"?
i
shall discuss several reasons regarding this statement in the upcoming paragraphs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are plethora of reasons why most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
give more priority to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are too expensive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of extra cost such as taxes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
there are large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
items.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
nation wants to boost their economy. For this purpose, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by giving money. In this money, tax is
also
included which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for the welfare of society and it
directly
leads to develop their economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
all of this, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
products.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses give more preference to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "belong"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'People' should be used.
belongs
to rich family are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
purchase
costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Possible spelling mistake found
Thats
why, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
items.

In conclusion
, no doubt the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
items is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
,
however
, the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reasonable which is easy to afford for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
do not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to buy local products while others product international products.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
231 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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