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Some people like to save money because they consider it is an important source of happiness.Others believe that money should be spent as it is the way to fulfill our dreams. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people like to save money because they consider it is an important source of happiness. Others believe that money should be spent as it is the way to fulfill our dreams. DYOq6
Nowadays one of the widely discussed issue is that majority individuals believe to keep cash because they consider it is an essential source of happiness, while others think that spent money in order to carry out our dreams. Personally, bother arguments have some valid points, however, I still believe that extravagent money more benefical than spending. A growing body of research that, the way os happiness is keeping money which is an important in human life who safe their money for their future plan. Many people have their own plan and they gather money in order to carry out their business or plan. For example, my friend who like to keep money for his plan and he never spend his money to computer games or another unnesessary things who spend their money to buy books and toyes for his brother. This is coming happeness to he. On the other hand, I prefer to spend money for own study which is an useful to me and helps improve my knowledge. I think keep cash is not important in our life, because If we will go to museum or another place who can lose our money – it is a unfortunately happens. So we spend our own money time by time. Taking my cousine as an example, when he went to Market, thiefs steal his money which he save tha money. After this, he always spends money for reading books or other useful things. In conclusion, taking everything mentioned into accaunt in my final analysis I can say that the best way of happeness is spend money for expenditures time by time.
Nowadays one of the
widely
discussed issue is that majority individuals believe to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cash
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider it is an essential source of happiness, while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to carry out our dreams.
Personally
, bother arguments have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valid points,
however
, I
still
believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
extravagent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
more
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefical
than spending.

A growing body of research that, the way
Possible spelling mistake found.
os
happiness is keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in human life
A noun should not follow 'who'. Try changing to a verb or maybe to "who is a safe".
who safe
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
plan and
they gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in order to carry out their business or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plan
.
For example
, my friend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for his
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
plan and
he never
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "spends", "spent".
spend
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to computer games or another
Possible spelling mistake found.
unnesessary
things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
books and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "toys", the plural form of the noun 'toy'?
toyes
for his brother. This is coming
Possible spelling mistake found.
happeness
Did you mean "to me", "to her", "to him", "to us", or "to them"?
to he
.

On the other hand
, I prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study which is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
useful to me and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my knowledge. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
cash is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
If we will go to museum or another place
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can lose our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
it is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
unfortunately happens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Taking my
Possible spelling mistake found.
cousine
as an example, when he went to Market,
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "thieves", the plural form of the noun 'thief'?
thiefs
steal his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "saves", "saved".
save
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. After this, he always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for reading books or other useful things.

In conclusion
, taking everything mentioned into
Possible spelling mistake found.
accaunt
in my final analysis I can say that the best way of
Possible spelling mistake found.
happeness
is
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for expenditures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Some people like to save money because they consider it is an important source of happiness. Others believe that money should be spent as it is the way to fulfill our dreams.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people like to save money because they consider it is an important source of happiness.Others believe that money should be spent as it is the way to fulfill our dreams. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.